Going Retro in all the Wrong Ways

As a teenager I was spared that hideous right of passage that most all of my friends and classmates were forced to go through. Apparently my escape wasn't to be life-long. As my birthday approaches ever closer, that odd year where no longer can I say I am in my mid-30's, but not quite into the late 30's - not just yet, for the first time in my life I'm dealing with acne. I've had the occasional blemish, but nothing much or consistent. It has been a blessing. As a highly insecure teenager, I don't know that I could have handled dealing with constant break-outs.
I remember junior year, chemistry class, two friends were talking about their zits and one looked at me and made a disparaging comment about my clear skin. The other friend insisted I was just covering them up and promptly lifted my banana roll bangs (it was the 80's after all) to prove her point. She was somewhat dismayed when proven wrong. I don't know how I got so lucky, up until now that is.
Ever since my surgery I've been having a horrible time with acne. When I mentioned this to the spinal surgeon and his P.A., their response was, "huh." Gee! That's helpful, thanks. For whatever reason, my face has decided to revert back to my teen years and make up for lost time. It's awful. It's maddening. It's embarrassing. This has been going on for almost nine months, I hit my limit. This week I went to the dermatologist for my biannual mole check and while I was there, asked her for help with the blemishes. Being in my mid-late 30's I should be more capable to handle this issue, but no. It may be less traumatic than if I were in my teens, but it is still a challenge to my self-image. Hopefully the cream from the doctor will do the trick. But I have a theory of what is happening that the cream may not help. Here is my theory: surgery took a lot out of me energy wise, I'm still recovering and trying to regain my energy. I sleep, a lot,and even deeper than normal. I've woken up more than a few times drooling. I think I'm drooling more than I am aware of and that is causing the break-outs. It makes sense, right? Who knew that could be a side-effect of the surgery? Ugh.

Being yourself with God

God has been working on my heart to show me how I've created these walls around my heart and myself as a defense and way to keep myself "safe." They have kept me moderately safe by keeping people out and, consequently, keeping God out as well. I'm realizing that I wasn't accepted for "me" and that hurt so I locked myself up and transfered people's rejection of my whimsy personality onto God. So as I was reading my devotions this morning and came across this passage I was stopped dead in my tracks. God wants me to simply and honestly be myself with him. And I can't truly worship God unless I am being my true self. What a radical concept for me. Truth breaking through a shroud of lies that would keep me bound and tumbling the bricks of the fortress walls around my heart. The movie Bridget Jones probably wouldn't seem to connect here considering how smutty it is, but my favorite line which makes my heart ache just thinking of it is: "I like you, just the way your are." What girl doesn't want to hear that, especially from a dashing charming man like Mr. Darcy? I particularly long to hear that affirmation. And wham-o here it is, in the the scripture, a declaration from the true lover of my soul that He wants me to come to him, that he invites me to worship him, that he likes me - just as I am.

clipped from www.biblegateway.com 23-24"It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."

Dove & Beauty

Prof. Gerry Breshears tipped me off to this video. It isn't a surprise at all how much media "enhances" their images but yet, how often do I find myself falling for their trap? Having worked with elementary school students and junior high students as well, it is shameful the way media has such an impact on our psyche and distorts our self-image. I personally think the Dove campaign for real beauty is great. Check out their website for really useful material to use with your daughters or youth group kids.