Christmas Reflections

Topol sings about "Traditions" while fighting a losing battle to keep them in "Fiddler on the Roof." My cousin Rebecca insists on keeping the menu the same every Thanksgiving, even the Stove Top Stuffing, because it's “tradition.” I found myself thinking a lot about traditions this past Christmas season,, and crying out for traditions to remain the same. I spent Christmas Eve baking, cleaning and pondering. In the morning I had read a Christmas message from some missionary friends, newly arrived on the field in Honduras. They are going through the initial phase of culture stress; feeling lost, inadequate, frustrated, and exhausted by the daily toll of it all. Moving from the Pacific Northwest to Central America is quite the change. Amongst all this change, is a remarkable gift and opportunity at this time of year. Christmas will not be the same, no fir trees to decorate (at least not real ones), no need for wool sweaters – t-shirt and shorts are fine, no push of consumerism in the same masterful way America does Christmas, a new house that isn't familiar enough just yet to be called home – Christmas was inevitably going to be different for this family. While it could be disappointing and emphasize all that this family has given up to serve in Honduras, it is also a gift. With all the traditions of Christmas for this family stripped away, or at least seriously mixed up, they have the chance to refocus on the real meaning and event of Christmas. The entrapments that divide our attention and dilute the holiness of this day have been minimized (not eliminated). Instead of a normal Christmas they have been given a time to reflect on what Christmas really means, and how they want to celebrate, what traditions to keep that have meaning, and an opportunity to create new traditions. That is a gift, a unique and wonderful opportunity. I am a little bit envious.

Like Topol, I felt like I was fighting a losing battle to keep traditions alive this year. I sounded like my cousin, lobbying to keep traditions. It was the first year that we purposely were not spending Christmas with the extended family. David and Kayle were spending the day with her family, Gary and Sue were going to Bend to spend the holiday with Rebecca, Rob and the kids. We chose to stay in town as Chris was flying in on Christmas Eve, and his girlfriend the afternoon of Christmas. Instead of the usual family gathering, we invited three other families to join us for Christmas dinner. For every other holiday that involves special meals, I've been an advocate for inviting lots of people. Christmas has not been one of them, it's time for family. But I was excited for this year. I didn't want it to be just the five of us and the Carlocks are like family and I wish I was part of the über-fun Childress family. With all the changes to Christmas this year, and despite my mother's best efforts to dissuade me, I insisted on keeping the tradition of aebelskiver for dinner on Christmas eve. In order to perpetuate the tradition one more year, I had to host dinner, which was fine by me. We went to the Christmas eve service afterwards at my parent's church, which was fine, but not satisfying. I stayed up late to keep my own tradition of watching midnight mass at St. Paul's Cathedral at the Vatican. Christmas morning I went over to my parents to join the rest of the family, exhausted and not feeling top notch. Chris sat in the red wingback chair watching me through the window struggling with a box filled with my gifts for the family. Apparently the lack of shoes, and the NBA, prevented him from helping me. We still do stockings, and this year we unpacked all the goodies, while watching a game. I don't even know what game, there were actually several that he would flip back and forth between. It was disappointing. This is CHRISTMAS! Can't we turn off the TV today, of all days? We moved to the living room to open presents, the only way to get Chris' attention off of NBA and with the present company. But the living room wasn't even cleaned up before he was parked in the red chair again, watching a game. I was mad. After doing all I could to help mom out before dinner started, I went for a walk. A time to walk out some frustration, enjoy the sun, see the blue sky, have the wind in my face, reflect, and hopefully wake up a little.

The friends started arriving around 3 pm. We had a pleasant dinner. I still am sitting at the “kids” table, even at age 36. The funny thing is, that I had one idea about how the day would go, and didn't consider that those who would be joining us for our un-traditional Christmas dinner, were also changing their traditions; and may have traditions that they didn't want to change. Such as going out after dinner. Shortly after dinner, Courtney, Joy and Luke left to go to the Blazer game. (Ack! What is up with basketball and Christmas??!!) Connor and Spencer decided to go down to the Childress' home to sleep or play video games. Which left me, with Jillian, a junior in high school, along with the older “parents.” Not what I had anticipated. Not how I had wanted to spend Christmas. It didn't feel like Christmas. It was pleasant enough, but subdued. It was just an odd year. Nothing much was the same, and without the familiar it didn't seem like Christmas. And I realized that even when you are still in the same physical place, Christmas can be all jumbled up and different, it doesn't take moving to a different country. And maybe the Wigg's are not the only ones given a gift to re-examine the meaning of Christmas. But if it is going to be different (I'm anticipating more changes next year), why not move? Maybe next year I'll celebrate Christmas in Honduras too!

The day after Christmas I logged on to Facebook and looked through all the pictures of Christmas, Honduran style. I wasn't envious any longer. I was out right jealous. 50+ people for dinner at the Micah Project house, now that's a celebration!

While I missed doing one of my own traditions, reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Christmas and Advent sermons, I did keep another tradition of mine, to buy a new Christmas CD every season. This year I bought three. The last one was from a band called “Downhere” and there is one particular song that cut through all of the noise of the season and reminded me of what we are celebrating. The song is “How Many Kings,”

follow the star to a place unexpected/ Would you believe, after all we've projected,/ A child in a manager?/ Lowly and small, the weakest of all/ Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in His mother's shawl/ Just a child/ Is this who we've waited for? 'Cause...//How many kings step down from their thrones?/ How many lords have abandoned their homes?/ How many greats have become the least for me?/ And how many gods have poured out their heart/ To romance a world that is torn all apart/ How many fathers gave up their sons for me? // Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior/ All that we have, whether costly or meek/ Because we believe/ Gold for His honor, and frankincense for His pleasure/ And myrrh for the cross He will suffer/ Now, do you believe?/ Is this who we've waited for? // All for me, all for you/ All for me, all for you//

CSAs rule the world

Jon and I are stuck sharing an office the size of a broom closet. We've cajoled, kindly requested, conscripted others into our fight and flat out begged to have our own offices or to share a larger office. No success. Carol came by and was sympathizing with our plight and tried to help with suggestions for how to rearrange the desks so that we would feel less like sardines. One idea was to put the desks facing each other in the center of the room, but she had second thoughts when she realized it may be awkward to stare at each other all day long. Jon's response, "It's a good thing we are both so extremely attractive."

I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

Lucky 13

With a very busy weekend, week 12 concludes and lucky number thirteen starts. It's Christmas week and, almost as exciting as the holiday, I can stop wearing my back brace! Woot! Woot! I haven't needed it for most of the day and only required while in the car to strap on the monstrosity. It is so awkward and uncomfortable, especially getting in and out of the car. Although it does hold me in well and flatten out my stomach, and my back muscles could relax while strapped in, it did have it's benefits. But I'm putting those aside for the comfort and freedom of being brace-less. Progress! A real big sign of progress. Despite such a monumental marker in my recovery, I was also reminded today that I am not completely healed. A friend of the family, a freshman in college, came over today and helped me with yard work, for pay of course. All the winter clean-up hadn't been done and with the cold snap a couple weeks ago, I lost several plants and my front porch was looking sad. Now it looks bare. I was busy baking in the kitchen while Jayme worked outside. As I took a break later in the day and sat down on the couch to chat with mom I looked out the window and noticed the nasty dead hanging basket - untouched. Opps! Guess I have a little work left for me.

This week I'll see my brother. The last time was the first weekend of October, the weekend I came home from the hospital after surgery, and he had to "babysit" me while mom went out for her birthday dinner. We watched "Wall-E" and I witnessed my brother being kind, considerate and thoughtful. Remarkable day. Eleven weeks later, perhaps there will be a Christmas miracle and he will give a repeat performance.

Christmas obsession?

I fully am aware of my tendency towards obsessive-compulsive behaviour and work at curbing it. When my family notices it, they are kind and tell me I'm being "Monk-ish" - it's much easier to be compared to a lovable TV character then to be told you're being a freak. There is one area where I do not inhibit my nature and that is in collecting Christmas music. I have an obsession with Christmas music. To prove my point let me give you a few stats from my ITunes Holiday playlist.

716 songs representing

64 albums

3.23 GB of space

1.7 days of play time

Yes, that is just Christmas music. There is one caveat - I've downloaded several single free songs from Amazon, so be assured that I do not actually own 64 albums.

Also, it isn't 716 different songs. Here are the most popular:

Silent Night - 23 renditions

The Christmas Song - 16

Let it Snow - 14

Joy to the World - 13

White Christmas - 13

and most surprising to me, there are 4 different renditions of Blue Christmas - whodda thunk?

Do I have favorites? Each year, I get stuck on a new album. Last year it was Jars of Clay's "Christmas Songs" and this year, I discovered the group Straight No Chaser and am loving their "Christmas Cheers"

At least that is what it is at the moment. Today I did throw in one more CD with my order of some Christmas present for family. One day I will have to stop, but that wasn't going to be today. Should I have openly admitted all of this? Probably not. And I'm aware of that too. But I just couldn't help myself, kinda like my collecting. :)

And so starts week 12

Somewhere in the last two weeks I finally turned a corner. I started to feel "normal" while still not being quite normal, yet. The muscle spasms have mostly subsided. Every once in awhile when sneezing or while doing my exercises or stumbling into the laundry hamper in the middle of the night the back muscles decide to freak out a little, but nothing like a few weeks ago where I was reduced to tears. I'm able to wiggle and squirm, twist and bend - it's marvelous. I still can't consistently lean over the bathroom sink to wash my face (usually in the morning); and I still need to brace myself with one arm to deal with the oven or dishwasher, but I'm improving.

Last week one of my remote co-workers was in the office to train new peeps. He was giving me a hard time that I hadn't baked anything for him during his visit and generally giving me grief - there is a reason his nickname is Mr. C-P, short for Cranky Pants. But you can't hold it against him as he resembles the lovable Fozzie bear. Anyways, he starts acting silly, teasingly acting out putting something in the oven all wobbly and twisted, while commenting snidely, "What?! Can't you use the oven?" In between my laughter I mention that is pretty much exactly what I look like trying to get something in or out of the oven, and the dishwasher too. Mr. C-P then sheepishly said, "oh." But quickly chimed in with, "Get wall ovens then!" It was all very amusing, but it also proves a point - I'm looking "normal" again, but I'm not quite there yet. And that can be challenging when people expect me to be charging ahead at full steam.

After 11 weeks of recuperating, I'm taking one big leap into "normal" life - I go back to work full time. I've been working 6 hour days and last week all but one was in the office. But to go back to 8 hour days (9 including a lunch break) all at the office seems a bit daunting. My sleep schedule is still off. I go to bed to late and can't get up early. That is going to have to change. I expect I'll be wiped out when I get home in the evening. I would try to cheer myself on with "Rah! Rah! Make it to the weekend and you can rest!" But the coming weekend is busy. Friday night is the HOTEL Christmas party which I'm very much looking forward to, I haven't seen my guys since August. Saturday is my Bible study Christmas brunch - at my house. Sunday evening is my book club holiday party (yes, holiday - as several in the group are Jewish, it's a Chrismukah or Hannumas party). So much for resting after a full week. I'll be looking forward to Christmas break just so that I can sleep.

Week 12 starts with some big new goals: get to work on time, stay awake all day, get my work done. The challenge isn't only physical, but social. Even though I have been working shorter days, I've been more productive working at home. Less social interaction, less distraction, more diligence, more concentration - telecommuting works well for me. Well, tomorrow it's back to the grind...

Updates! Updates!

Below you will find my newsletter from September in two jpeg files. Beyond that is a shorter update from the beginning of November. Yes, it is all about my surgery - pretty much.



Yes, I am extremely overdue in sending out an update. Six weeks and a few days later here it is. The four hours of surgery on 9/28 was successful. Whether the result will be the desired outcome is yet to be seen; that won’t be decided until I’m 3-6 months out from the surgery. It takes that long for the fusion to complete and the nerves to heal. Right now I’m able to walk 30-45 minutes at moderate pace without anything going numb, tingling, or causing agonizing pain. So I think it is looking very positive that I’ll be in that 15% category of making a full recovery. Please keep praying to that end!

To say I was naïve about what recovery would be like is a huge understatement. I was completely disillusioned. The first few weeks I could out-sleep any newborn. I didn’t expect to sleep so much. I wasn’t prepared for how fuzzy my brain would be with all the medication. I thought I would only need my mother to stay with me for maybe a week, she finally left me on my own after a month – and still comes over several days a week to help with chores and to drive me places. I was, however, anticipating the nausea from the medication. The first two weeks I was a puking machine; finally I was able to get a prescription anti-nausea which keeps it in control. But that is the only thing that went according to my expectations. All the books I piled together to read during the time have remained mostly untouched. Magazine articles were even too long. Instead, I watched a lot of TV. The HGTV channel mostly. It’s a bad thing to watch home shows that inspire you with projects while being cooped up at home and unable to do a single one. Even so, I have really enjoyed being at home and indulging in my natural inclination to be a bit of a recluse. It was nice to disconnect from our hyper-connected world, thus, part of the reason why this update is so long in coming.

Physical therapy started a couple weeks ago and this past Monday I finally started noticing progress and improvement. I was ecstatic that I was able to do everything Damon told me to do – and without breaking down into tears from pain! We were both pretty happy about no tears. I’m on the road to recovery and while it is longer and much slower paced then I was anticipating, I’m very pleased with the progress I’m making. One of the hardest things to do is to sit in a chair for any length of time or bend forward (as in to get things in and out of the oven or shave my legs).

Thank you so much for all your prayers, notes of encouragement, and visits. I feel very blessed. To all those who have emailed me in the past six weeks asking after my health – thank you so much, I really appreciated it, even though I didn’t answer.
I am sort of starting to get back into the world at large, hopefully I will see you soon!
Cheers! Jennifer Streger

Cool! I'm proud of these pics!

Who Perpetrates Racism?

I've watched a couple movies this past week that have both been thought provoking on the issues of race, ethnicity, culture, and who perpetrates the clash between different ones. The first movie was "District 9" which juxtaposed humans and aliens to bring up the issues. The second movie was "Daddy's Little Girls" which, very interestingly, was able to bring up the issues while only dealing within one ethnicity.

"District 9" - what can I say? You've got to get past the gore, violence, and language, but if you can, the values and ideas of the movie are intriguing. The main character has certain ideas and notions of who the aliens are - and it isn't good. Yet, by his own clumsy dufus-ness, he is forced to understand their ways and culture. He literally walks in their "shoes" and in the process learns to treat the aliens with respect and compassion. Another interesting angle was the idea of having two very different cultures living together. While it wasn't subtle, setting the film in South Africa with it's history of Apartheid, to show a different kind of Apartheid, made me wonder - if we (human race) were faced with the issue of how to live with an alien culture would we react with imposing segregation? Even though it was such a disaster in the U.S., Australia, South Africa, for the Jews, Indonesia, etc. would segregation be our response? Why is it that when faced with something different, strange, unpleasant to our sensibilities we judge it as bad and try to create distance between ourselves and this new thing? We each perpetrate racism when that is our reaction.

As for the other movie, "Daddy's Little Girls," it was not at all what I was expecting. I thought it would a fun, light-hearted, romantic-comedy, chick flick. Tyler Perry wrote it after all, he does comedy. While I did enjoy the movie and there was a romantic storyline and funny parts, it was much more of a drama. Living in white bread suburbia I have absolutely no notion of how accurate or realistic the films characters are, but I respect Tyler Perry and believe he would make 'serious' characters truer to life versus Madea who is just outrageous, although probably based on someone he knows. What captivated my attention in the movie was the portrayal of racism among African-Americans against each other. There is one small bit character who is acted by a Caucasian person, other then that the entire cast is African-American, and prejudice, racism, inequality is a main theme. The way the characters talk to each other and the slurs hurled at one another was astonishing. If two different races were to talk to each other in such a manner it would be a disaster. I hear in the media people speaking out about how segregation still exists despite civil rights laws and have wondered who is creating the segregation. Maybe it's my naiveté and growing up in one of the least diversified city in the States, but I don't understand the claim. Yet watching this movie, if it's to be believed, even partially, as an accurate depiction of African-American culture, it would seem that the culture itself is a main contributor to racism and segregation. Bill Cosby's criticisms of the African-American population make more sense too.

It makes me lament, "Why can't we all just get along!?" Get over your fears and insecurities, people!

Eco-Friendly Hockey Puck

Popcorn is one of my favorite foods. It is all too often dinner when I forget about eating until late and don't want much before heading to bed but need to quell the rumblies. Sometimes, it's just dinner because it is. While I like microwave popcorn just fine, I thought I'd try something new that wouldn't have all the chemicals. I put a generous 1/3 cup of kernels in a microwave safe pan, added some oil and swirled it around to cover all of the kernels. Put a semi-loose lid on top and stuck the whole thing in the nuker. I wasn't sure how long to set the timer so I set it for four minutes. At around 3 minutes it was popping like crazy and my mouth started salivating with anticipation. The popping was tapering off and so I opened the door around the 3:30-45 mark. The stench of burnt popcorn sent me into a coughing fit. All of the popcorn was burned but in the center it had not only burned but melted together into a disk about the size of a hockey puck. The steamy smoke rising from this melded mess must have been toxic since my eyes and throat burned as a result, yet the smoke detector never went off (and that blasted thing goes off with it's ear piercing shrill if my toast is just dark brown). The putrid smell lingered throughout the house for a couple days, the pan and lid still faintly smell of burnt popcorn despite sitting in sudsy water for a couple days and being washed repeatedly.

I bought a new box of microwave popcorn this weekend.

Smelly-ness

Have you ever considered the cultural appropriateness of how you smell? I hadn't thought much about this until a professor mentioned that Westerners find it acceptable for a man to smell like old saddles whereas in India it is the norm for men to wear a rose sent. It got me to thinking - what about women? While I haven't looked into what other cultures think is the norm for how women should smell, I'm guessing that floral has always been acceptable worldwide. Taking a look through my toiletries confirmed, for America, this is true, and added fruit to the mixture. I guess women are supposed to smell good enough to eat! Of the various lotions, potions, and tinctures that clutter my shower and bathroom cabinet everyone is scented with either a flower, sometimes several, and/or a fruit. Lavender, vanilla, water blossom lotus, mimosa, jasmine, gardenia, honeysuckle, coconut & lime, cherry blossom (does that count as a flower or fruit?), etc. You get the point. But of my favorites I wash my hair with pink coral and white nectarine shampoo and condition with the same scent. I use a white ginger and nectarine body wash. After which I slather on peaches and cream lotion. So as to not sully the flavors with my own natural body odor I apply an anti-perspirant/deodorant of orange blossom & verbena. I guess I have fallen for the cultural norm hook, line and ... stone fruit.

Just how hot is it outside?

For whatever reason, the financially flailing newspaper, The Oregonian, has decided to give me a free subscription. I didn't ask for it, the paper just started showing up in my driveway one day. I have never received a bill. No one has called to ask, "Haven't you been enjoying it? Why don't you buy a year subscription!" There has been nothing of the sort, just the faithful daily delivery of the paper. At first I thought it belonged to my neighbor who does subscribe, but his driveway was empty, so I would toss it on to his driveway. After a couple weeks of this I happened to be outside as my neighbor was walking down from the mailboxes. I waited for him to be closer and told him that I had been getting his paper. He claimed that he had been getting the paper twice a day. One before he went to work, at 3:30am, and one before he got home from work. It took a couple different approaches to successfully explain that his "2^nd" paper of the day was from me tossing the paper over.

Since it was now my paper, it was completely at my disposal. I don't want to take the time to read the paper, and if I did, I wouldn't choose The Oregonian. But my co-workers feel differently. Often Bryan would buy a paper and leave it in the lunchroom for the rest of us to peruse. Instead of dumping the paper straight into the recycle bin, I take it to work and alternately give it to Bryan or Matt. They're appreciative of it and it keeps the recycle bin in my garage a little lighter. I often read the headlines as I carry the paper the few steps down the hall to their offices. Today I was amused by the weather box. The high for today is supposed to be 102° and they claim that is "very hot." Just in case you were wondering and couldn't make up your mind whether it was just very warm, hot, kinda hot, stinkin' hot, or very hot - The Oregonian is kind enough to make that call for you. Now you know, today is very hot.

You're asking what?

"What are you doing?" she asked. I was in a swim suit with cap and goggles on, in a pool going back and forth; I would have thought the answer was obvious. But considering the woman who asked was also in the pool wearing a swim suit and was generally going back and forth, I didn't think she was being literal. I wasn't clear what she meant so I stopped, pulled out my ear plug, pushed up my goggles, and muttered, "What was that?" She must have seen the blank confused look in my eyes and asked more specifically, "What stroke are you doing?"

"Oh! It's the breast stroke."

"How do you do it?"

"Oh, um, well, ahhh..." I couldn't answer. It was as if she asked me how to breathe or walk. I had to slowly swim a few strokes and think about what I was doing before I could answer her.

Swimming has become an activity that is second nature for me. It's my stress relief. My place to get away and put aside the cares and worries, and relax. All you can think of is stroke, stroke, stoke, BREATH. The light rippling and dancing across the bottom mesmerizes; the bubbles breaking to the top creates a deafening sound blocking out the world. My zen.

This zen was broken last night with an impromptu swim lesson, but that was okay, I was glad to help. I made a realization yesterday too. I was flipping out and my mind was racing with thoughts yesterday afternoon, as I was cleaning the kitchen my mind would pause for a moment and the thought popped in - "I've got to get to the gym and swim or I'm going to explode." After a few times of telling myself this I realized with horror, "I'm just like Dad!" When he gets wound up his only way to deal with stress is to get on his bike and go, for hours. How did I end up like my dad? Both of us needing to do solitary physical activity to deal with stress. Genetics or modeling? You be the judge.

18 years overdue

Facebook is a wonder. Through the wonders of Facebook I have been able to reconnect with high school friends, college friends and roommates, church buddies from 20something, teaching comrades, keep in touch with Israel travel mates, and voyeuristicly see what's going on in their lives. This past weekend it was no longer by proxy. I had a fabulous time visiting with high school buddies that I hadn't really seen in 18 years. It started with breakfast with Kate, Ani joined us for a little while. When Ani showed up she told me I looked exactly the same, that I didn't have any wrinkles, but then she asked one of the most hilarious questions - "Are you airbrushed?" Cracks me up!

The three of us reconvened for dinner along with a fourth, Lara, who I hadn't seen since1991. It was such an enjoyable evening. We reminisced over our silly teenage antics and embarrassing crushes and attempts to get their attention. I hadn't laughed so hard in a long time. They did ask me the hard question I was dreading, "Why did you leave for our senior year?" I transferred schools 2 or 3 days after our senior year started. After I left I didn't stay well connected, which has been a big regret. I had some great friends, I just didn't realize it at the time. It wasn't easy to explain my motivation, it required explaining my immaturity and being vulnerable, recognizing that I hadn't done right by my friends. Hard, very hard. It was an explanation 18 years over due. But they were gracious and understanding. Hopefully I can recognize the value of their friendship this time so that I don't waste the opportunity to have them in my life for the next 18 years.

Oh, wait! I remember you!

I had lunch today with a friend I hadn't seen for several years - three to be precise. We used to work together, sorta, and even though I didn't necessarily enjoy the work I'd look forward to it because he would make me laugh so hard I didn't care what we were doing, as long as I was being entertained. Today we started out serious, getting caught up on the last three years, but it wasn't long before the snide remarks, the witty retorts, and the silly puns started. The mischievous sparkle in his eyes hasn't changed. We had a good time, it was great to reconnect. As I was reflecting on it later, I realized there was a distinct difference than the guys I work with, than most of my other guy friends, but what... It came down to this: it felt really nice to be taken care of. Which sounds weird and has connotations of a type of relationship we do not have, but I couldn't think of another way to phrase it.

I had written a short "thank you"email to him for his time and for treating me to lunch. I mentioned I was still amused by the water incident.

Allow me to deviate for a moment and tell you about the water incident.

We were having lunch at a Thai place I had suggested because it was close to work and has this one dish that I really like. The place was unusually slow in business, maybe because it was almost 1pm. But as a result we were pretty much ignored. He finally did get the attention of one of the waiters (or was he a busboy?) to ask for water, the guy came over and filled up his water glass and his alone and left. Apparently I was being rationed water and since my glass was not empty yet I didn't deserve anymore. My friend is never at a loss for words or quipy retorts but as the waiter walked away I looked over at him and his mouth was literally agape, speechless and dumbfounded. So that's the water incident.

I immediately heard back from him wanting to be sure that I understood why he was upset; that he was not amused. He mentioned that a gentleman would always be upset by how I was treated. That was it! He was behaving in a gentlemanly manner. He was (is) a gentleman. I had forgotten what they look like, which is why I couldn't name it before. I'm starting to remember - 'Gentleman,' nice to see you again, it's been too long; there are far to few of you in the world. The feminist movement may have killed you off like big game hunters, but for me, I never feel more feminine then when I'm treated well by a gentleman.

I'm done!... oh, wait - NOW I'm done!

What a wild ride.

I had shown my strength and adept ability to procrastinate once again. The big integrative project that I had been postponing for weeks was finally unavoidable. The instruction packet was nearly 20 pages long. It was overwhelming. The homework was more than I could handle on a weekly basis, how was I supposed to do the project and the weekly homework? My only solution was to procrastinate until the last possible moment, take two days off work plus the weekend, and plow through it. I sequestered myself to the house and researched and typed away for four days. My plan was to print the final paper Monday afternoon at 4pm, and have it in the mail by 4:30pm, get home and indulge in Mike's lemonade. The deadline passed and I was only half way through the paper. I reset my deadline for 8pm. That time came and went and I was still typing away. I was so stressed and frantic I couldn't help the tears that started slipping out. After a quick freak out, I buckled down and finished the paper... at 11pm. I did a quick spell check, printed it off, and packaged it up.

I jumped into the car and raced off to the post-office. It is a good thing that I know the route, I was wearing my glasses as I hadn't bothered to take the 2 minutes away from writing to put in my contacts. Driving with my glasses is a scary proposition, doing anything in my glasses except walk from the bathroom to my bed is a scary idea. I walked into the Tualatin post office and walked up to the auto shipping kiosk only to see that it was out of order. Jumping back into the car I rushed towards the Lake Grove postal office. Thankfully their machine was up and running and the date on the stamp had Monday, May 11th - it still qualified as on-time. Driving back home it started to sprinkle, making the fact that I was behind the wheel even more of a liability. Thankfully I made it home, safe and sound, with a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Sitting at my desk while at work the next day I checked my email and found an email from the class coordinator announcing the deadline was pushed back to Friday. I didn't have to kill myself yesterday! I could have gone to bed at a decent hour and finished it up later. Oh, well. I quickly sent an email to the grading coordinator and told him to toss the paper when he got it in the mail and that I would send another by the end of the week. Thankful for the extra time I polished the paper (an integrative study project of the lessons from the class and how they could apply to the Druze of Lebanon), did a better job of proof-reading, and sent it again. I am now, finally, done. Yippee!

Not Unfounded

I've always been a bit leery over the gap between the elevator and the floor once the doors are open.  It's just big enough that my keys or phone if I were to drop them would slip right through.  I've dismissed this as a sort of irrational concern, not unlike my fear of being eaten by a gigantic mutant alligator. But today I realized my fear of losing something down the elevator shaft is not unfounded.  My coworker stuck her hand out to block the elevator doors to hold it for someone and her key badge did a little flip with the action and promptly slid right between the elevator and the floor and clunked it's way down to the bottom of the shaft.  Apparently I really do need to mind the gap.

Sunday Funny

I spotted this as I left the market and got such a good laugh out of it. The car looked like it had two green horns!

dawn

The corners of the horizon were starting to glow a bit and the silhouette of the trees could be seen sharper in the east as I drove to the gym this morning. There wasn't a morning chill as it was already a balmy 50° making it easy to believe it would actually get up to 85° this late April day. As I made the short drive to the gym I was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of Israel. I can't pinpoint what it was, maybe the sky ripe with anticipation of the coming day, the colors reminiscent of the many mornings we set out at the break of day in similarly 'warm' mornings. Isn't it funny how random things will remind us of a place or person or time. By the time I left the gym the sun was almost over Mt. Hood and lighting up the sky, that feeling of Israel was gone leaving me 'homesick' for Israel.

Isn't it grand to be 1 year old!?

Saturday the clan got together to celebrate Easter, David's birthday and Zachary's 1st birthday. Here are a couple pics of the birthday boys!  Saturday was Zach's first taste of chocolate - do you think he liked it?  Notice the funky hairdo? That is the mad styling of frosting! You just gotta love it! "King" David celebrated 32 years but he wasn't about to be upstaged by his nephew at 1 years old and stole his special bib. 

Sloshy Soggy Good Friday

Pulling into the driveway of the office building I was faced with two large fire trucks. At first I wasn't sure that I would be able to get by them to access the upper level parking lot where I prefer to park. Once I squeezed by I started to wonder why they were there. The Easter Seals organization was going to sell tulips in the lobby today, could it be for that? The elevators have been on the fritz for awhile maybe one of them had decided to quit between floors with people in the car? That was a more probable scenario than the tulip sales. Being the ambulance chaser type I was hoping that I would be able to see whatever disaster had brought the fire brigade to the office. As I waited for an elevator everything seemed somewhat normal. One elevator was locked but appeared to be in use for moving but no one was screaming to let them out. The elevators were not the problem. Julianne got on the elevator with me and asked which floor, I said, "3rd please." She responded, "Oh, you're going to have a fun day!" Quizzically I asked, "How's that?" She explained a pipe had burst on the 4th floor and had flooded all the floors below. As she finished telling me the elevator doors opened and we were affronted with the damp thick smell of wet plaster. The presence of the fireman was now explained. I walked down to my office and stopped dead in my tracks at the hallway intersection just before my office door. The hallway down to the other side of the building was lined with garbage bins, the ceiling tiles were mostly gone, and water was streaming out of the ceiling. Bryan's office at the end of the hallway looked like monkeys had gone crazy with fire hoses; the water was running down the windows like a car wash. As you walked down the hallway the impression of your foot step filled in with water leaving mini glistening pools in shoe shapes. I felt badly for the media team as they were the worst hit on our floor, but nothing seemed to be damaged or lost thankfully. I must admit, I found the whole scenario quite amusing. The smell was more than most people could handle on my team and by 10 am there were only three of us left, by 2 pm I was the sole representative for my team at the office, everyone else chose to work from home. As a perk for staying and having to endure the smell and noise our manager brought in treats from Grand Central Bakery and the Operations team treated us to pizza for lunch. It is going to take awhile to get back to normal. The affected staff have been relocated to temporary offices with their belongings scattered around. All in all, it was anything but a dull Friday at the office.

My trip in pictures

Cultural Lessons

Friday Janelle and I decided to take our studying to the beach. It was a beautiful day and I had been craving the beach and thought in central California I might have a chance of being warm at the beach. We found a spot around Bodega Bay and staked out a spot not too near anyone with a big log that ran parallel to the beach so we could use it as a back rest. It was great for about a half hour. That is when the Hispanic family decided to have lunch just a few feet in front of us obstructing our lovely view of the ocean. There was wide open sandy beaches for quite some distance beside us either way, so why did they choose to plop down right in front of us? Janelle and I were a bit mystified. I made the comment that "We are in the midst of a cross-cultural lesson, but I'm not getting it." And I still don't get it. What made it more amusing is that after they had finished eating lunch they started wandering off, but left their stuff. All the guys had congregated for a game of soccer down the beach away from people, and several of the women were down there watching. Two kids were left to keep watch over their belongings which we helped out with when the seagulls attacked and the kids were playing down by the water. Can anyone explain this behavior to me? I'm really quite curious.

Janelle received some other cultural lessons during my visit. Apparently the concept of using honey to sweeten coffee was new to her. What was really new was malt vinegar and dousing french fries with it. I don't think she believes me that it's really tasty. Honest J - it's really good! :)

Girl seeks sun!

It always happens about this time of year. I develop a need, an overwhelming need, a compulsion, a driving desire, to see the sun. Unlike my brother who actually likes the drab overcast drizzly days I crave the sunshine. I crave it with a ravenous hunger. And not just the sun but sun and warmth. Don't get me wrong, I am a proud Oregonian, it is just the time between end of February to the beginning of July that I have a hard time with. I chalk it up to being born in Southern California. While I only lived there for my first two years, those early years are a very impressionable age and I believe all that sunshine imprinted my genetics with a need for sun. Further proof is my brother, he was born here in Oregon in March so it stands to reason that he loves the drippy days, that was his first experience in life.

This year I am going to soak up the vitamin D in Santa Rosa, California while I visit with two of my roommates from the Israel trip. I'll be staying with Janelle who lives just a short distance from the last house where my paternal grandparents lived. I haven't been back in over a decade so I am expecting some weirdness/sadness on that front. One day we are going to visit St. Helena and one of my food Meccas - the CIA - the Culinary Institute of America. I was hoping to take a morning cooking class but I dilly-dallied too long debating whether I should spend the time with Janelle and Debbie or take advantage of being in the area and take the class. Procrastination is the thief of opportunity. The class was full by the time I went to sign-up. Another place on the must visit is Bouchon Bakery owned by Thomas Kellar of The French Laundry fame. For the next few days I'm going to imbibe in the foods I enjoy and forget about my allergies, well, almost all of them. There is no food so tempting that I will knowingly eat bananas or mushrooms, it isn't worth the hospital trip. Yes, I'm a foodie and while the area is known for it's wine, I plan on enjoying the food. Most of all I'm looking forward to seeing Janelle and Debbie, just hanging out laughing and having a good time, being away from work and a computer, snagging some of Janelle's pics from Israel and ohh-ing and ahh-ing over Debbie's scrapbook.

The next five days are going to be great!

Better yet, I got bumped and stayed an extra day! I don't know how Janelle put up with me for so long. :) Love you J!

Don't Should on Yourself

The obnoxious ringing won't stop and my brain wakes up just enough to command my hand to reach out from underneath the warm fluffy covers and grope around for my cell phone - the source of the noise. Successfully finding it's target my fingers start pushing in hopes of hitting a button that will stop the intrusive sound. This is alarm #1, it's 5:50 am. I have ten minutes to deny the fact that I have to get up before the next alarm. Suddenly and all too soon a strobbing yellowish light is lighting up my bedroom. I squint my eyes to block it out and bury my face deep into the pillow. Once again the hand is sent on a blind journey hunting for the button to make it stop. This is alarm #2, it's 6:00 am. The trouble is this alarm clock's snooze button only grants a mere 5 minute reprieve. The hand will be sent on a journey to find the snooze button no fewer than 5 times, often more, before I acknowledge the reality that I must get out of bed. It isn't until alarm #3 at 6:30 am, emitting from my cell phone once again, that I start taking measures to force myself out of bed. Throwing off the covers so that the chill of the room wakes me up, turning on my bedside lamp, and maybe sitting up which makes it a little bit harder to fall back asleep... but not impossible. No one would ever call me a morning lark, not by a long shot, I am a night owl to the core. But there is something wonderful this morning - it is a Friday morning which means tomorrow is Saturday which means I get to turn off all of my alarms and sleep in.

I am particularly excited for this weekend because it will be the first in well over a month (maybe two?) that I do not have anything planned, no obligations, nothing dictating how to spend the time. My entire weekend is at my discretion. I can do whatever I want. As I start to think of how to spend these precious two days an impossible list quickly grows in my head. It is a list full of "must do..." "want to..." and "should do..." items. But Paula gave me some great advice many years ago:

"Don't should on yourself!"

So this weekend I'm going to take care of the "must do's" - laundry, paying bills, mending my suitcase (since it is going to be pressed into service this coming week it really is a must), send Bethie her birthday package, homework, and sleeping in - and if I have time and feel so inclined a few "should's" might get accomplished as well but it will not be out of a sense of guilt or obligation. I will not should on myself this weekend.

Cake Pops

This weekend was chock-a-block full of things that needed to be done: mid-term exam, homework, personal reflection paper, bills to be paid, birthday package that needs to be put together and mailed off (two months late already), bathrooms to clean, laundry, and the list could go on. But the most important thing this weekend was a baby shower for a co-worker. So forget all that other trivial stuff - I spent the weekend making cake pops for the shower on Sunday afternoon. Aren't they cute!! Thanks Bakerella for the inspiration!

Now for that mid-term...

Refrential Rainbow

I thought this was pretty amazing. Can you guess what it is? I know it looks like some sort of science experiment. Actually, it is a graph of the Bible's cross-references. The whitish-gray lines are the length of chapters in the Bible, each color represents the distance between references. Pretty cool, huh?!

Concoction

Did you know that taste buds have memory? They do, I'm convinced of it! While remembering the trip to Victoria, BC on which I took the picture below my taste buds started salivating. They were remembering something. It wasn't the high tea at Butchart Gardens, nor was it the beer battered fries at the Sticky Wicket Pub (which the Pelican Pub at Pacific City has much better ones). What those little buds were remembering, screaming for, was the strangest concoction I've ever imbibed at The Next Chapter bookstore & coffeeshop in La Conner, WA. I can't remember the name of the drink, but I remember asking what was in it and thinking that it sounded so strange that it had to be tasted. It was a combination of Coke, espresso, fresh squeezed orange juice, a slice of orange, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Weird? Yes! Absolutely! I wasn't sure what to except and after the first noxious sip I questioned the choice of trying something so peculiar. I was tempted to dump it but the after taste was strangely good. I took another sip and my face involuntarily winced at the bitterness, but again after the initial shock the flavor was good and my taste buds were asking for more. It was a compulsion to keep drinking despite the initial taste, but it grew on me too. And as the ice cream melted it became very tasty. I have not attempted to recreate it - not yet that is - I think it may need to be attempted very soon. Have you ever heard of such a drink? Any guesses on proportions? It needs a good name... hold on, I'm going to try and make this thing and see what it inspires.

Update: I have since attempted to recreate the drink. It wasn't good. The coffee was leftover from the morning, the orange juice was from a container, and the ice cream was to little. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. I'm on the right track.

A life of its own

Elana walked into my office to ask a question about IQR and halfway through her sentence she pauses, looks quizzically at my bulletin board, and then asks with a confused and excited voice, "Is that your picture? I mean obviously it's yours, it is on your board, but that's not a postcard it's an actual photo isn't it?" Stumped at what she was getting at I offered a tentative, "Yes, it's a photograph. I took it up in Victoria, B.C." After my answer Elana squealed "I have that picture! It sits on my mantle with this light that hits it just right so that the flower looks like it glows. I always point it out to everyone who comes over. I even used it in a photography class I taught. You are the artist!!" Honestly I was a little confused but as we continued talking she reminded me that I had submitted it to the Lake Oswego Festival of the Arts several years ago where she had purchased it. What a wild turn of events that I met the person who had purchased one of my photographs. To add to the coincidentalness she lives in the neighborhood that I grew up in. Elana made me feel like a celebrity and a real artist which was very fun. But was nice to know that my photo was being enjoyed and appreciated.

Still Pals

Carol and I - still friends after all these years.  The friends who sticker together stick together!

Carol, Dave "Shoe" & me

Hanging out at Mt. Tabor park after the Western Seminary Alumni BBQ.  Carol's kids were getting a bit squirlley so we went to the park so they could run around.  It has been eight years since I finished classes, seven years since Shoe graduated, and Carol, we aren't sure when she stopped taking classes.  It has been a few years but we had a great time being all together again.  We were just missing Summer, Terri and Andrew, and Wayne for a full reunion.

Changes in the wind

I was walking back from the mailbox flipping through the few pieces of mail that had accumulated over the past few days since I last checked my box and thought, "I need to get a duplicate key made for Kate." And then it hit me. Like a wave overtaking me and knocking me over. My life is about to radically change - and I panicked. Kate isn't just coming to stay for a visit she is moving in, indefinitely. My home will no longer be just mine. My routines will have to accommodate someone else. My way of doing things may have to bend and become flexible. My life is going to be shared - no more hiding away in my home. Is this all a bad thing? No! I had to ask my self do I want to back out or change my mind about Kate moving in? No! Am I going to have to be less selfish and less self-focused? Yes! And that is a very good thing. Life is going to be very different this fall, but I'm looking forward to it. Just remind me of that the next time I panic. :)

So long Israel, I'll be back...

The Israel Tally
Scrapes and bruises: beyond count
Bandages used: gobs and gobs
Pitas consumed: more than I care to remember
Earrings lost: 1 pearl earring at a youth hostel in the Negev
Sunglasses lost: one pair which is now sitting at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee
New friends: 32 fantastic people
Places visited: dozens upon dozens upon dozens, or so it seems
Pictures taken: around 1,300
Regrets: oddly enough that I didn’t take more photos

Hello All!
I’ve returned from my Israel sojourn in love with a new part of the world. We spent about 15 days on the move exploring Jerusalem, Galilee, Foothills, Wilderness, and the Negev. Each day’s itinerary was packed and we zipped through it at break-neck speed. Carl Laney was a superb teacher making clear the Biblical significance for each place we stopped and helping us to see past the pile of rocks to the vibrant place it used to be. It was more than I could take in at the time but now that I’m home and processing pictures, talking about experiences with people, and reading my Bible it is beginning to sink in what an incredible experience it was to spend the month of May in Israel. I feel very blessed to have been able to take advantage of this opportunity and for the amazing people I spent the time with, especially my three roommates, they definitely made the time richer (and more hilarious). All this fun and I managed to get an “A” in the class as well.

I’m working on selecting the best pictures and putting them together in an online album. I’ll send the link along once I’m done. I won’t subject you to viewing all 1300 pictures I took over the last three weeks unless you ask, at which point I will gladly share them all – the good, the bad, and the plain ol’ ridiculous.

Back from Galilee

We spent four days and three nights in the Galilee area at Ein Gev and we are all sad to be back in Jerusalem. The accommodations were so nice at Ein Gev and the food was great but the best part was being able to swim in the lake of Galilee (yes, it has been down graded from a sea to a lake - it can sympathize with Pluto) but Israelis call it The Kinneret. We only have a few more days left and two more tests. I'm very sad to be leaving and seeing the time come to a close. I've loved the group of people I've been traveling with and I've learned more than my brain can handle. But there is so much more that I want to see and experience and learn. I've decided that this is just the first visit, I'll be back! Enjoy a few pictures from Galilee! The red head on the boat with me cruising the lake is Kate, one of my roommates - she is one wacky wonderful gal!

Quick stop back in Jerusalem

We got back last night from a three day trek around southern Israel and the desert and wilderness area.  We got to swim for a little over an hour in the Mediterranean Sea!  Awesome!  I had so much fun!  But the heat really got to me.  I was very disappointed that I wasn't able to swim in the Dead Sea but considering that the Med Sea burned my leg and just the little that splashed up on me while dipping my toes into the Dead Sea it was a good choice not to try.  We took our 2nd exam today and I missed one which makes me so mad because I had the right answer than over-thought the question and changed my answer.  So frustrating!!  We head off tomorrow for a four day trip to the area of Galilee.  I've come down with a nasty chest and head cold.  It was probably inevitable considering the grueling pace we keep, the lack of sleep, and the close quarters with my sick roommate.  I'm tired, very very very tired - but having fun and learning tons!

Fun in the Wilderness

Pastor Rick McKinley preached recently about having a theology of wilderness.  Today I saw the wilderness of Israel and it was desolate and barren and painful.  

I fell not once but twice today in the wilderness.  Ouch!  Check out the bruises!  It adds a little color to the monotone color of the desert.

Bedouins watching their goats.  The Jericho of the New Testament.  View of the Wilderness. And the wilderness again.

I've arrived

Snuggling up to Ben Gurion at the airport which is named after him.








Soldiers guarding one of the gates to the Old City of Jerusalem.

One of the old gates that would have led up to the temple mount but is now overlooking the Muslim cemetery on the east side of the wall. But in my opinion is the most impressive looking.

This is me in front of the Western Wall (formerly called the Wailing Wall)

We went through Hezekiah's tunnel today. It is about 3/4 of a mile and gets very very narrow at some points and has water from ankle deep to mid thigh and ceilings that are very high to very low. I can't tell you how many times I hit my head.

View of a street in the Arab Quarter of the old city.

Triple the goofy goodness!

Yup! That's me, and me, and me! I am one of six "real customer" models for Haggen's newest ad campaign. I was picking up a few groceries one day at Haggen's in Tualatin when the checker who is always there asked me as I was paying for my groceries if I'd want to be in an ad for Haggen's. My response was, "Sure, why not?" She took my name and phone number and that was it. I was having lunch with my mom one day about a month later when I got a phone call to set up my photo shoot. They had to remind what was going on. I spent an hour getting my make-up done and several photos taken. Wish they would have paid more attention to my hair as it looks so flat and thin in the photo they chose. I guess there is more ad material to come, some sort of coupon booklet - look for me in the "natural/ organic" section! I'm not sure I like the idea of using my 15 minutes of fame on Haggen's but it's been fun and the little extra cash and the groceries I was able to buy at their expense for their comparison savings has been very helpful!

Coco-nutty madness!

How long had I been standing there? Five minutes? Ten? And still I was no closer to making a decision. I regretted leaving my cell phone in the car, this was supposed to be just a quick dash into the grocery store to pick up a cake, but I was standing in the aisle staring at the cake mixes paralyzed with indecision unable to call anyone to be a sounding board. I had volunteered to bring a cake to work the next day to celebrate Alan's birthday and Michele's promotion. While slyly asking Michele about her favorites she mentioned carrot cake and German chocolate which oddly enough the Haggen's bakery department had a cake for sale that was half of each, maybe that was the best choice - but it wasn't pretty. I wanted to bake a cake in my pretty sunflower cake mold but choosing a flavor was proving difficult - chocolate is always a favorite but wouldn't show off the flower mold well. After way too much time debating flavors I actually made a decision - lemon - light, springy, tasty. I picked up some powdered sugar to make a frosting and eggs since I don't keep any on hand and headed out. Little did I know that making that difficult all- important decision of flavor was going to be the easiest thing about this cake.

Once home I fixed dinner and did some chores, it was around 8pm before I started mixing up the cake mix adding a few "extras" to make it taste more homemade and less like a box mix. The pretty sunflower mold is a strange silicone mold that is non-stick and the box said to lower the oven temperature to 325 for non-stick pans which is what I did. Mistake number one. Silicone may be non-stick but it doesn't need to have a lower oven temperature. The cake took nearly an hour to finally bake in the middle and by then the edges, especially the edge of the petals were getting a little dry. Once the center was no longer jiggly I took it out and set it aside to cool for a little while. As great as silicone is, condensation happens quick and you can't let baked goods sit in the mold for long. With the aid of a cutting board and a few flips I had the cake on a wire rack to cool flower patter right-side up. I don't know if it could have been prevented but the next thing I knew the cake had a large circular crack all around the center of the flower - the center of the cake was too puffy compared to the edges. It was going to need lots of icing.

Once the cake was cool and nearly ready to be frosted I had the brilliant idea to toast some coconut flakes to put on top of the icing to add a little more flavor and fun. I spread out a bunch of coconut on a cookie sheet and placed it in the oven on the center rack and turned the broiler on. I knew it wouldn't take long but having it on the center groove farther away from the broiler it would take longer than if I had it directly under the broiler. While I waited I draped myself over the physio-ball to stretch out my back and watch NCIS. I was caught up in the story and not paying attention to the time until I started smelling the wonderful toasty-ness of coconut. I checked on it once and thought it needed another minute. But by the next commercial break it was much longer than a minute and the aroma coming from the oven wasn't quite as pleasant. I jumped up and ran over to the oven and opened the door and was annoyed to see that most of the coconut was now black. Then suddenly it burst into brilliant blue flames! In shock I slammed the oven door shut not knowing what to do. The smoke alarm quickly went off with it's ear piercing wail. Now mind you, it is after 10 pm at this point and I have new neighbors to which I was not being very gracious towards. I quickly went over and opened the window above the kitchen sink and grabbed a dish towel, ran to the front door and opened it wide, and started waving the towel at the alarm. It quickly stopped harassing me. I went over to the oven to take out the offending pan of coconut and realized that the oven had gotten so hot that it automatically locked! I turned the heat off in my house and the blower on, went upstairs and opened the bedroom windows in an attempt to air out the stench but the consequence was that my home quickly cooled down to a chilly 58° degrees.

A half hour later I heard the oven click signaling the oven was unlocked. Opening the oven door unfortunately allowed enough oxygen back into the oven to ignite the lovely blue flames once again. I started to panic - what was I going to do? I couldn't throw water into the oven. I couldn't just let the coconut burn. I didn't have anything large enough to cover the pan to smother it. Baking Soda!! Isn't that what is supposed to help put out a grease fire? I grabbed the bottle from the cabinet and with a few vigorous flailing shakes emptied the entire contents of the new bottle of baking soda mostly into the oven with enough hitting the baking sheet to stop the blue flames. With the fire finally subdued I left the oven door open to cool down the oven and the pan. It is now past 11 pm.

Thankfully this all happened on a Tuesday night, the night I set out my garbage, so I could directly throw out the stinky black coconut ash. Around 11:30 I donned my oven mitts and took the pan out of the oven and started carrying it outside with the idea of dumping it directly into the garbage bin that was already out at the curb. I made it to the driveway before I decided the pan was still way too hot and was concerned the pan and or coconut would melt the plastic garbage bag so I set the pan down right on the driveway and went back inside my chilly home and waited some more, desperately wanting sleep.

Sometime after midnight with oven mitts still needed and spatula in hand I scrapped the burnt clumps into the garbage wondering if the pan was ruined or salvageable. But I didn't care enough at the moment to find out I just wanted to sleep. I left the pan outside on my front porch leaving it for another day, went inside and turned the heat back on, closed the windows, and crawled into bed. What an adventure! I started crying I was laughing so hard as I retold the story the next day at work. In case you are wondering - the pan was salvaged and I got rave reviews for the cake.

Genocide reconciliation

Phew! I escaped another Valentine's day! I have never ever ever had a "special someone" on or around V-day and I wouldn't want to ruin my record now! Although I did give kisses to all the guys at work yesterday, the gals too! Really yummy dark chocolate truffle kisses. Can you tell I used to teach elementary school? It still hasn't gotten out of my system. But that isn't what I have on my mind today. Last night I went to the "Conversations in Global Theology" class that Imago Dei is offering in which we were discussing forgiveness and reconcilliation. We had some readings from Miroslav Volf and Pastor Bejamin, a survivor of the Rwandan genocide, spoke of community reconciliation and how an individual must recognize the evil in them in their response to injustice done against them as the first step in forgiveness and in breaking the cyclical nature of revenge and violence. Which I can understand and am leaning towards agreeing with but am troubled by the danger of minimizing and maybe even discounting the evil done to them. Traumatic events can have severe psychological affects and can alter a persons life permenantly and if the first thing they must do is recognize their own sinful nature does that imply that what was done to them is less important, maybe even inconsequential? A story was told, I think referring to ethnic conflict in South Africa, about a nation that said they would grant amnesty to those who were involved if they would publically confess their crimes in hopes that it would create healing community wide. But a grandfather told his grandson, "Go find this man and kill him because he killed your father and the government will do nothing about it." So the cycle of violence and revenge will continue; how do you promote and encourage community wide healing and reconcilliaton if the individuals that make up the community don't agree? Well, anyhow, those are the thoughts rattling around my head this morning.

NWEA Baby Name Book

Working at NWEA I've come across some rather interesting names, many from the D.C. area. Considering the number of friends and family who are pregnant at the moment and may need some inspiration for baby names I thought I'd post some of the more unique ones I came across. Enjoy!

Boy Names	Girl Names
Romello	Terrashay
Kordarrius	Senovia
Jamarvion	Dukunda
Nabil	Kearisha
Andrevious	Armoni
Zakiyak	Bometria
Kneo Therr	Urica
Ladarius	Shynastie
Dondreo	Sieglindae
Varrond	Zanjanae
Charkeveion	Rotanya
Chilufya	Malonda
Blaize	Tadiesa
Danodous	Tiaranee
Airrington	Zarah
Did you think I was just making these up? Oh, no!! These are real high school students! Our future leaders...

I'm such a goof-ball!

Monday night I made a red Thai chicken curry dish for my lunches this week. As I was putting it away I sampled a spoonful of the sauce and was surprised by the heat, I didn't think I had put that much curry paste in but it was spicy! I took a bowl of it to work for lunch yesterday because I had no alternatives but was very leery of trying this concoction I had made. I didn't heat it up in hopes that eating it cool would minimize the heat of the spice. I don't know if it really helped because my nose started running and my mouth and lips were burning. I was reading the magazine that was in front of Michele (upside down so it took more concentration) when I realized she was staring at me with a goofy questioning grin. I answered her questioning look with my own, to which she asked, "Does that help cool it off?" It took me a moment before I understood - I had absent mindedly been blowing on the mouthful of curry chicken speared on my fork waiting for it to "cool" before I took the next bite. We busted laughing at the silliness. My mouth was burning so I was blowing on my food to cool it down, makes sense unless the heat is only from spices. Good-grief!

Christmas time has come and gone

I hope you all were able to enjoy Christmas and the wonderful season. This year seemed to be one of the more frantic and hectic Christmas seasons for me than in years past which I really don't understand. I didn't do my Christmas party in hopes of lessening the stress and increasing the enjoyment of the season; I hardly went shopping (much to my brother's chagrin since he got mostly "recycled" and gag gifts) and yet the season has come and gone before I had a chance to enjoy it. I am still playing Christmas music in an attempt to hold on to the season. But this weekend I put away all my Christmas decorations and felt such a relief to have my house less 'cluttered.' Last Thursday seemed to be the official "lights off" day but I must have missed the memo. I had stopped by my parents to take in the mail (they were out of town) and left their porch Christmas lights on inadvertently. I thought about going back and turning them off since they'd be on all night but decided to leave them on for a festive look. As I was driving home I realized that very few homes had their lights on anymore. For some reason everyone along my route decided Wednesday night was that last night to have Christmas lights on. Suddenly the world is looking very drab. I started the habit of reading through the birth narratives in the Gospels on Christmas morning and this Christmas I was struck with the idea of reveling. We place so much emphasis on the expectation and anticipation of Christmas but we do not linger and savor the miracle after Christmas. Mary and Joseph were anticipating the arrival of the baby, the angles knew what were coming but no one else did. It wasn't until after the birth that the shepherds came and saw the wonderful baby, and it was well after the birth that the three wise men arrived to worship. The Twelve days of Christmas, also called "Christmastide," officially ended this weekend on January 6th with Epiphany day. Yet I don't know of a single church in the area that celebrates this time of the church calendar which is sad, it is a perfect chance to soak in the reality of Christmas and celebrate that Christ has come as a man so that we may know God. Instead in our consumer driven culture as soon as Christmas is over it is all about the sales, then New Years, and now Valentine's day - yes the stores are already hocking their heart themed wares. I can't help but feel we are missing something, missing the sacred in this season, missing the opportunity to be still and know that He is God. I don't know what the solution is, but I know I am looking for a way for Christmas to be different next year, more sacred, if you have any suggestion shoot them my way!

We are so excited!

We'll play nice for mom.

Oh, so sad, Fritzy is leaving for Colorado. Yeah...

What Would Jesus Buy?

Last Sunday at church was a big kick-off to Advent Conspiracy which is all about relational giving and bucking the consumerism that has overtaken Christmas. Instead of a regular sermon Rick had three people talk - 1. Clark, the pastor of missional communities, about how adopting the Advent Conspiracy philosophy has impacted his family. 2. Stan, from Living Water Intl., the recipients and partner organization of Advent Conspiracy which is working to solve the world water problem. He spoke about the communities that benefited from the 11 wells our Advent offering was able to build this past year and the 23 communities that have been identified to benefit from this years gift. 3. the third person (who actually was the second to speak) was Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame. Yes, this was his first church "interview." He was sharing about a new movie that was being released last weekend that he helped produce called "What Would Jesus Buy?" A brief intro to the movie taken from the website...

"What Would Jesus Buy? follows Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir as they go on a cross-country mission to save Christmas from the Shopocalypse: the end of mankind from consumerism, over-consumption and the fires of eternal debt! The Shopocalypse is upon us … Who will be $aved?"

If you want to hear the "interview" with Rick from Sunday 11/25, download the sermon here or download the podcast. Or if you are short on time, KATU actually ran a short blip on the news which is posted here. I guess it actually ran on Good Morning America as well. The movie is playing locally at Cinema 21 until December 8th.

Narnia revisited

Narnia: Prince Caspian is due to be released 5/16/08!!!

They filmed it in New Zealand and the CZECH REPUBLIC!

"Czech" it all out here: Narnia
or here at Walden Media

The beauty all around us...

As I was driving to church this morning, late as usual, bouncing between the two lanes along I-205 trying to avoid the spray of cars ahead of me so that I could actually see out the front window I managed to glimpse something quite remarkable. Near the end of the greenbelt section approaching the Willamette exit I glanced over at a metal rod sticking up out of the ground in the middle of the greenway where there once was a reflector but instead had a large something on top instead. Suddenly I realized it was a huge hawk, and I do mean huge! It was placidly perched in the middle of a freeway and I wondered how many other people were noticing this unusual sight. I was still thinking about how big the hawk was when I passed the rock wall just before the West Linn exit which has several of the waterfalls going at the moment with all the rain we've been having. They are less impressive when you think about it being mostly street run-off but they are pretty, and they can be surprising. Beth was visiting from Iowa this past spring and she couldn't help but let out a "Wow!" as we drove by the wall. I read this morning an email update from a friend who is in China expounding about the beauty she finds in the Chinese people, the faces of her neighbors and students.

I wonder how many people drove by that hawk without the slightest notice. How many people drive by the rocks and waterfalls apathetic and indifferent until an out-of-town visitor takes an interest. Why is it easier to see the beauty in another person when we are outside of our comfort zone, away from our norm? Why do we ignore the beauty and majesty that God has surrounds us with by our complacency? I am certain the God has filled our every day with the remarkable, the surprising, and the beautiful - it is all there for us to find, like going on a fantastical treasure hunt. But these things are not hidden, they are there in the open like the hawk, the trick to finding them is to open our eyes and be expectant. What is even more astounding is that we live in a fallen broken world, it is a far cry from what the Lord intended for us and yet it can still take our breath away if we let it. Even far more amazing, this earth is just a shadow of what is to come. Revelation 21 tells us there will be a new heaven and a new earth, one where God will make his home with men, a city resplendent with all kinds of bling.

It is little wonder we cannot begin to fathom the beauty or marvelousness of heaven, most of us don't even begin to recognize the magnificent hints of God's artistry here and now, so how can we imagine something far superior? So what will you see today? Will you focus on the dark gray asphalt or glance at the median and see a hawk? Will you drive by the rocks and dismiss the waterfall as just run-off or marvel at the beauty of a small waterfall? Will you look passively at the person beside you or will you look at their face and notice them seeing their beauty and the image of God in each of them? What will you see today?

I see the light(s)!

I saw lights yesterday! As I turned on to my street,heading home there on the corner the house was adorned with alternating red and green Christmas lights along the eaves of the house! I was so excited! CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! With the weather today being all blustery cool and stormy along with there being snow coming down in Brno I'm beginning to feel like winter is here and Christmas is around the corner. I've loaded my Ipod with all Christmas music - I'm ready to go! But the big day will come and go before I know it. I haven't started to do Christmas shopping, I don't even have any good ideas yet. I don't have my requisite Christmas letter started. I don't have my St. Nick party on the calendar yet - I may not even do it this year. I want to enjoy the season, be able to reflect on the marvelous event Christmas celebrates, and frankly - everything else just stresses me out and kills the joy. To try and counteract this I'm seeing how I can incorporate Advent Conspiracy philosophy into my life this season. Let's all take a collective deep breathe, slowly let it out, put aside Western consumerism and take Christmas back!