Periodic Status Update

Over a month has passed since the grand auto-immune paleo experiment began, which means it is time for a self-reported check-in.

General paleo compliance -- 94%
Auto-immune paleo compliance -- 83%
(my very scientific & accurate guesstimation)

It is not perfect, but I'm okay with that. The goal is to have a straight 30 days of 100% compliance to the auto-immune protocol at some point soon; it will require more lead time to work up to that. There are a few hurdles to cross that just keep tripping me up. They are named: nuts, paprika, caffeine, and a tiny hurdle the size of Andre the Giant of cocoa powder.

And then there were a few instances that were not paleo, and therefore, obviously not AIP either. Absentee-brain moments. My sweet, thoughtful mother had bought me some groceries after my trip to Washington, D.C. One item was an organic heat & eat beef roast from Trader Joe's. She had made the comment, "It is organic, so I think you can have it." Awww... you think it's hard for me trying to figure out what is on the yes/no list, my poor mother is having a heckuva time! It seemed logical, but it wasn't until I was tossing the packaging into the recycle bin that I noticed soy was listed in the ingredients for the sauce. Dang it! I ate it anyhow. That blasted soy is insidious and is in e v e r y t h i n g. It is really hard to avoid. It is even in tea! TEA!?!?

Giving up coffee has been one of the hardest aspects. Harder than chocolate!! I started drinking more tea (lots more), which I love equally as well, but it just doesn't have that same texture and "kick" that coffee does. I counted down the days to day 31, when I would try reintroducing coffee. Attempting to stack the odds in my favor, I even made cold-brew coffee the day before hoping the lower acidity would help. Just the smell  of it in the house was euphoric. Giddy with excitement in the morning I made my first cup of coffee, and it tasted odd (had I lost my taste for it?). After finishing off the first cup, a fresh cup was made, and drunk. And then, my body told me NO MORE COFFEE!! Oh, coffee... how I love you. Why, WHY won't you love me back???

Even though nuts have sporadically been eaten, I have stayed away from them enough that when I do have them, I notice it - and not in a good way. Once I get more into a groove, and get this whole AIP thing more ingrained, I will eliminate the nuts completely until I can get my gut healed. First, I need to find a substitute for that glove compartment "emergency snack."

Has it been easy? Oh, heavens to Betsy, NO! But does it seem worth it? Yes. One of the hardest aspects was my cocky assumption that I would transition with ease. My logic was that I was mostly paleo already, becoming a little more restrictive wouldn't be so bad, cutting out my occasional indulgences wouldn't have much impact. I read a couple 'what to expect in the first 30 days' kind of blog posts and sort of blew them off with, "So little is changing, I'll probably just skim right over these phases." Reality is the opposite, not only have I gone through the 'slump' stage and the 'I crave everything - even things I wouldn't have normally eaten' stage, but they have lasted at least twice as long as the norm. There is a lot more balancing, tweaking, and experimenting to do until I figure out what my body needs. (And with my luck, right when I figure it out, it will change.)

I was hoping the results would be nearly instantaneous, miraculous even. Although I knew that was far from likely, I'm still a little disappointed it didn't happen. Yet, my main flare spot - my right middle knuckle has calmed down some. When I make a fist, there are four distinct knuckles again instead of one normal and one massive blob. It is going to take time, patience, and persistence in following the course. Other issues are starting to improve as well; my sinus allergies are improving, my energy level is more even, my (ahem!) digestive issues, etc.

Onward, ho!! 

Lab Rat, Table for One!

It was probably around ten years ago now when I sat in the exam room, meeting with my Rheumatologist, discussing options and the effectiveness of the latest drug I was trying, and I asked 'Are there any recommendations for nutritional therapy?' Brusquely she answered, 'Diet doesn't have any impact on the disease.' I tried to explain that I had noticed a correlation between my symptoms and certain foods, which was quickly dismissed. Not long after this incidence the same doctor told me that I needed to go on to a level 3 drug - a biologic modifier - since I had exhausted all of the options in class 1 and 2 with no significant improvement. Considering I had been on a variety of drugs and experienced minimal, if any, benefit, but most of the side-effects, including the really odd and rare ones, I was not eager to start a new medication (Humira being the one pushed) that a frequent side-effect was leukemia.

So doc, you want to put me on a drug that may help alleviate the symptoms of the rheumatoid arthritis, but I also will have a good chance of developing cancer. Yeah, that sounds like a great plan.

I don't think so.      

I never went back to that doctor. Instead, I started seeing a naturopathic doctor. It has been helpful, but it hasn't solved the problem. While experimenting with different supplements over the past 8 or so years, I have also learned a great deal. One thing I have become convinced of: I can 'cure' myself of the rheumatoid arthritis, an auto-immune disease, through nutrition. God made our bodies incredibly intricate, and with an innate ability to heal - if we give it the proper building blocks. Yet, knowing this and implementing it is a different story; it can be very confusing to know exactly what is the proper nutrition for healing. There is a lot of information out there on the interwebs, a lot of conflicting information.  I'm sort of a weirdo in that I really enjoy researching nutrition and health issues. The list of blogs that I regularly read, the books highlighted and lining my shelves, the food based documentaries watched, the podcasts I listen to while commuting should be worthy of a degree in nutrition. Seriously. But all the information can lead to info-paralysis, a state I know all too well.

Two years ago I was stuck in a vicious cycle. The RA raised my systemic inflammation, which told my body to store fat, which raised my inflammation, which aggravated the RA, which raised my systemic inflammation, and around and around it went. Around the time I realized that something had to be done about the excess fat I was carrying if I ever hoped to get the RA under control, several friends were losing weight. Polling each of them about how they were doing it, I got the same answer: Take Shape for Life. So I jumped on the bandwagon. And it worked, for about six months and 50 pounds. Then I went to Honduras for a week, and then Czech Republic for two weeks. It was a huge struggle to get back on track that I couldn't quite master for more than a month at a time, and even during those month sprints the scale wouldn't budge like it had before. Part of this is because I started training hard and exercising too much for the program. Another part was that all of the program's foods contained at least one or multiple ingredients that I knew I reacted to badly. I have my theories about why it didn't bother me at first, but then started being a problem, but I won't bore you that much. And the stress component fought me too.

While thinking of New Year's Resolutions this past January, I asked myself the question - 'If I were at a healthy weight and didn't need to eat weird packaged powdered food-like substances, how would I want to eat for my best health?' From my research, it was pretty easy to describe what seemed to be the best way of eating, but I wanted to drop more weight before starting to eat that way. Making wholesale changes at once is overwhelming, and often not lasting, so I made a plan to adopt one change a month towards my ideal while sticking to the Take Shape program to lose the weight. Good plan, right? And it has been (except the weight loss part-that wasn't happening).

Three weeks ago I was working on my Bible study while eating breakfast before work and my knuckle was so painful and swollen that I could hardly hold a pen to write my answers. That was my breaking point. No more lying to myself, my RA was not under control, the flare-ups were too frequent, a new hot spot had developed in the last six months. In addition, auto-immune begets auto-immune, and the last time I had my thyroid checked the results had some suspicious numbers pointing to the beginnings of Hashimoto's disease, and this last winter I started having symptoms of Reynaud's disease. This is not okay.

It is time to make some changes. Time to make my health - and regaining great health - a priority. Top priority. What does that mean? No more incremental changes. I'm jumping in cannon ball style into the paleo lifestyle pool. But not just any ordinary variation of it, I'm going to follow the auto-immune paleo protocol. And let me tell you, it is going to be TOUGH. My month-by-month resolutions were leading me to a paleo lifestyle already and by March I had almost given up all sugar (my vice is Endangered Species Black Panther 88% dark chocolate bar), ditched all dairy - even cheese which I doubted I could do, and every grain & legume - including soy. And I was feeling much better. Then I went on vacation last week and after the race tossed all my good eating habits out the window - and suffered.  The auto-immune variety of paleo cuts out all nightshade plants and their derivatives: tomatoes, tomato paste, eggplant, peppers, paprika, chili powder, etc. Pretty much all of the main-stays of my cooking. Brutal. Oh, did I mention that it suggests (mandates) avoiding coffee? Shoot me now. Is this going to be the magic bullet? I don't know. This is all experimentation. But if the anecdotal results others have shared can be even partially true for me, it is worth it. Feeling good is better than coffee, right? RIGHT??!!??

I can do it.
I know I can.
Because I am Streger Strong!
We don't quit, we persevere!

But prayers are very much appreciated.
No coffee. {whimper} 

2012 Stregerlady Annual Report

Hello. How are you?
It has been awhile. A L O N G while.
I needed to take a break from writing. Life took a bit of a turn last spring, and I just couldn't write.
But lately, there has been an urge, a longing, desire to string words together to make sentences and then into stories to share with whomever stumbles over here.

For some reason, I set up this hurdle that I needed to post a 'year in review' of 2012 before anything else. Over a full quarter of the way into 2013 and the "2012 Stregerlady Annual Report" is going live, which means maybe - just maybe - new posts might start appearing here again. (It also means that I need to update you on the first part of 2013 as well.) So with no further ado, here are the highlights from last year.

2012 Stregerlady Annual Report
January – New year & new peepers gave me a new outlook. Lasik surgery took my vision from 20/1500+ to 20/40 – truly amazing! A medical marvel. I participated in the global virtual Nike women’s half-marathon. 13.1 miles on the treadmill at the gym was tedious, but the finisher’s bling was well worth it!

February – My friend Lisa and I, we’re a couple of heartbreakers when we did the Heartbreaker race for Valentine’s Day. The Justice conference was held in Portland where I represented The Micah Project, and a special Honduran came up for the event to help me staff the booth. One of the best days of the year was taking Marvin up to Mt. Hood to play in the snow, making his long-time dream of making a snow angel come true.

March – Life started getting… interesting... in spring. I began to fall down Alice’s rabbit hole; up is down, down is up. My spiritual director says growth is the great “un-ing” and lots of “un-ing” started happening, leaving me feel like I was (am) being tumbled in a series of waves. Mom and I went to see Wicked, which became my 2nd favorite musical ever. The month also included a quick trip to Denver, Colorado to be part of a Bridal Shower for my (then) soon to be sister-in-law, Amy. (That's her below, on my left.)

     
April – With a desire to be more graceful and add a few legitimate moves to my "dancing," I started an adult ballet class! I attended three whole classes before I landed from a jump weird and totally tweaked my Achilles  which took ages to heal - and had to quit. At work, my huge team of three went for a team building lunch to Andina, a restaurant in the Pearl District, and quite possibly the best meal I've ever eaten in my life! Seriously. Good. Food.

May – At the beginning of the year I set a goal for myself to walk/jog a half marathon in under 3 hours. Four and a half months into the year and I met my goal with the Rock n’ Roll Portland - my best half marathon time to date. I just about puked and passed out in the finisher's corral, but I did it!

Yes, I'm cheap and didn't pay for my photo.
And, yes, it was raining - I don't sweat that much.

Streger family photo at Rob & Julie's wedding.

June – Over the years a few of my brother's friends have become pseudo-siblings. I call them ‘little brothers’ (as opposed to "baby brother" which is reserved for my brother-brother. Got it?) One of my 'little brothers,' Rob, married the lovely Julie "super long name" in June. Thankfully, she took Rob's last name so now I can pronounce her full name. (Just don't ask me what her maiden name is!)

July – A good month for a little stay-cation which I desperately needed. Work had been crazy busy and I needed to get away, even if it meant still answering email every day of my vacation. I visited my cousin in Bend for a few days. I also re-learned how to kayak, which was a blast.

If I found the rabbit hole in March, by July I had fallen down, drunk the potion, and entered a confusing world. I decided to not pursue joining the staff of the Micah Project in Honduras after being fully focused on that path for the past two years. A decision that is scary and sad in turn, and completely unsettling. It feels as though the rug was pulled out from underneath me, but I trust that God is in control and am certain He was not opening the doors for that opportunity at this time.

August – With the summer heat, my running heated up as well and I ran the “Every Girl” 5k and recorded a personal best. I decided to conquer my fear of white water rafting and used a Groupon for a trip down the Deschutes River and ended up going on the exact same stretch that had caused the fear 20+ years earlier (completely coincidental)! Not only did I survive, I had fun! It must have been a water adventure kind of summer, because I also tried stand-up paddleboarding (SUP). It had looked like so much fun and I love being on the water. I recruited a friend to do an intro class with me, much less intimidating that way. While not easy, it was a lot of fun and Julie and I enjoyed ourselves.

   

Probably the biggest event of the year...
The snow loving Honduran came back to Portland - TO LIVE!! That's right, the Micah Project decided to send Marvin to Portland to attend school. He is living with a host family in Lake Oswego, going through the English intensive program at Portland Community College, and loving life in the Pacific Northwest. Most Wednesday nights he comes over to "mama jenn's" for family dinner.
September – Best.Wedding.EVER!!! My beloved baby brother got MARRIED!! (MARRIED!!! Chris?!?! A husband!?!? WEIRD!!) Until a couple years ago, I was doubtful that he would ever get married, but then... then he started dating Amy. And on the 15th they were married in Colorado on a perfect day. I now have a sister!!!!

 

I came home and did my first mud run – the 5k Kiss Me Dirty women only event. After eyeing various obstacle runs and wanting to try my mettle, but lacking the confidence in my ability to survive one, I took the risk to attempt one when I came across a deal to volunteer at registration in exchange for the entry fee; I just went for it and triumphed. Although watching Lisa literally wallow in the mud, which was completely unexpected, may have been the best part of the race. The next weekend was the 5k Color Run which of course required a tutu. In between the fun runs I celebrated 3 years post-surgery on my back and am loving the ability to walk and run and generally be active. (Bet you couldn't have guessed that one, huh?!)
         
October – Portland half marathon done with a cranky left Achilles (still! that darn ballet class) and a sprained right ankle and a sour stomach. I really am that competitive with myself - or persistent, determined, focused - or maybe out of my mind.

November – After debating colors for months and months, the dining nook finally took on a new shade of blue. It's lovely and I'm much calmer now that I'm not seeing red. To my delight, I gained a new roommate while she finishes support raising.
December –One last race for the year, the Jingle Bell 5k, which I always do as it supports the Arthritis Foundation. My time improved, even holding my red nose the whole time; I didn't think about how hard it would be to breathe with it on. Christmas festivities have a new perspective when experienced with someone seeing it for the first time. I always love all the twinkle lights and decorations in December. Amy and Chris came the day after Christmas for a few days, which meant we got to celebrate Christmas all week long!

MJ and I check out the big tree at Pioneer Courthouse Square

   A very good year overall.

2013 Prospectus - the events I'm anticipating this year
January – in the books. How did that happen?? 3 Blazer games – 2 with mom, 1 with MJ. A huge department reorganization at work meant I switched teams and joined the Test Publishing team and am now part of a team of 5 others; I'm no longer a lone wolf - I have co-workers to cross-train and share the workload with, a very good thing for my sanity. But sadly, it also means that Jon and I are no longer on the same team; the dynamic duo has been split-up. I'm still in mourning.
February – start training. Despite the enormous improvement in my eyesight thanks to LASIK last January,  I am once again with glasses. Originally meant for just night driving, my spectacles are handy driving at any time of day. And in theaters. At work. At church. At concerts. The big difference in comparison to the last 30ish years, I can get by without my glasses now and be okay, just a little hazy - not blind.

March – kick the training into gear and give it a test with the Hop Hop 5k. I got to wear bunny ears! (I was also kinda sick, my judgement may have been impaired.)


April – National capital, here I come!! I'm meeting up with my friend Courtney from Texas to do the Nike Women's Marathon (half) in Washington, D.C. I'm not ready, but there will be a blue Tiffany box at the finish line with a specially designed finishers charm. Nothing is keeping me from that blue box!
Sadly, my roommate has moved out as of today. I knew from the get-go it was a short-term stop-gap solution, but I'm bummed to see Maureen leave; she has been so wonderful to have around.
May – Rock n’ Roll Portland for the 2nd year.
June – Rock n’ Roll Seattle – going for the Pacific Peaks medal.
July – Flat Half because I’m crazy enough to think I can do one half marathon a month.
August – Cascade relay race. Okay, not quite a half-marathon, but close.
September – possible trip to NYC to visit Amy + Chris for US Open. Sharon (a 'little sister') and Manny are tying the knot. I enter the fabulous forties! (meltdown and denial to ensue shortly.) No race planned... yet.
October – Rock n’ Roll San Jose – because they give you a super cool “Triple Crown” medal if you do three RnR events in one calendar year. I won a "Pass the Lottery" ticket to the NWM San Francisco so I'm planning on going back down for that race as well. It's better than Wonka's Golden ticket, better than a "Pass Jail" card in Monopoly - how could I not take advantage of it?
November – I'm hoping to make it down to the Micah Project in Honduras for graduation. It will have been two years since I was there last; far, far too long. While I'm no longer pursuing being on staff, I still plan to support and participate in the ministry.
December – My favorite time of the year! I'll be doing the Jingle Bell run for Arthritis again, with my Rudolph nose and antlers - come do it with me!

Wow! You reached the end. You deserve a special treat - a virtual pat on the back from me.
Thank you for stopping by, and hopefully there will be more reason (and more interesting reasons) to stop by in the near future. Tell me, what are you looking forward to in 2013?

Cheers! Niff

FMF: Race

The doctor taped up my right ankle, pink and green, and I thought somehow he knew that would make me happy and please my preppy aesthetic. Later that day I taped up my left ankle with more pink tape. I continued to prepare for race day despite the agonizing pain in my stomach. Stupid ulcer. I didn't know how I'd complete 13.1 miles of the Portland half marathon in the morning, but to get the goodies I had to finish the race. It was completely foolish; my stubborn pride would not allow me to quit. I refuse to let my body keep me from doing what I want, living my life. I felt fine in the morning, and all during the race. Frequently, internally saying, "Take that you stupid ulcer! You can't keep me down!"
I finished the race.
Improved my time even.
And, I got the goodies - a pretty finishers medal, coin, pendant, and a not so pretty finishers shirt.

But I wonder, where is that same tenacity for my spiritual life? The determination to overcome the obstacles and hurdles? The perseverance to log the long hours training and building the foundation? Is my focus on the finish line, my goal on the best goodies - to hear "well done, my good and faithful servant?"

Which race am I running? Which one really matters?

{This post is part of Lisa-Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday's}

Ladies Night Gets Hot Under the Collar!

We were headed to Bend for the weekend which, in my opinion, necessitates a stop in Sisters for refreshments after coming over the mountains. My mother sat across from me at the picnic table behind the Sno-Cap diner, watching me as I took my first bite of a jalapeno pepper jack cheeseburger. She just watched as I enjoyed that first bite, which is always the best, and let out a sigh of delight. Her own burger waiting in her hands while all her attention was on me. After a moment to chew she asked if it was good. I gave an enthusiastic "mmm-hmmm!!" while my mouth burned with delight. "Is it spicy?" she asked. "Oh, yeah!" I replied as I wiped my nose on the back of my hand, it already running from the heat of the peppers. "I have NO idea where you came from!" mom offered back, sounding dumbfounded. We laughed at the oddity that I am in the family, the only one who likes spicy food among a bunch of milquetoast eaters. For crying out loud, my dad thinks garlic is too spicy! Garlic! It doesn't even have any heat! I am happy being the anomaly in the family, adding hot sauce, cayenne, and peppers to my food freely and liberally. I finished my cheeseburger, slowly, frequently stopping to let the fire die down enough so that I could actually taste it again, and to dab away the tears that would well up in my eyes, or wipe away the snot that threatened to run down my upper lip. That was one good burger!

I don't know what my body is trying to tell me, but this summer has been the season of jalapeno cravings. And I do mean crave! That's weird, right? I think so. I have been coming up with some creative ways to add the green heat to different dishes, but one tops it all - jalapeno popper dip!

I tried it out for the first time for ladies night several weeks ago. On a balmy Saturday evening a group of us gathered at Katie's house for food, conversation, laughter, and friendship. For the most part we were all friends in high school. Although they have maintained the relationships over the years, I am just recently re-forging these friendships - much to my delight. I was thrilled when I was invited to girl's night, my awkward self-conscious inner teenager was amazed that I was being included into the inner circle with the cool kids. This meant I needed to impress them with my culinary contribution to the Mexican themed dinner; I wanted to prove my value and worth to the evening's offerings with hopes of being invited again. This seemed like a perfect occasion to try out the recipe that I had recently pinned and hadn't stopped thinking about.

While it was a big hit and was very tasty, I felt it missed the mark. It tasted like a really good spicy queso dip, but not a dip reminiscent of jalapeno poppers. Of course I didn't follow the recipe exactly - that just isn't in my nature. Instead of the fresh and canned jalapeno, I substituted diced roasted jalapenos. Oh, and I used Trader Joe's Extra Extra New York Sharp Cheddar and Black Pepper Crusted Parmesan. One last tweak - since Traders doesn't carry fat free cream cheese, I used light. But I made up for this by using Fage 0% Greek yogurt. Oh... and, forget the bread crumbs.
Here is the original recipe: Jalapeno Popper Dip

Since then I have been experimenting with the recipe and have come up with something that I really like, that truly is reminiscent of a jalapeno popper! I can't stop eating the stuff! I still have a little refinement to work out, I'm not totally happy with the consistency as it has to be fairly hot for it to be dip-able. But at room temperature or cold, it is solid enough to use as a spread, which has its advantages as well (think sandwiches).

Here is my version:
Jenn's Jalapeno Poppin' Dip
Ingredients:

• 1 block (8 ounces) of light cream cheese
• 1 cup of Greek yogurt (I prefer Fage brand)
• 1 cup of sharp cheddar (Tillamook's Vintage White Sharp Cheddar is especially good)
• 2 (or more) roasted jalapenos, finely diced - ribs and seeds removed, if any of the skin is extra black you may want to remove that as well. 
• 1/2 - 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1/4 teaspoon of cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon of chili powder
• 1/4 teaspoon of cracked black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon of sugar

Directions: 

Dump everything into a saucepan over low-med heat and stir frequently until the cheddar is melted. Done. Yes, it really is that easy. 

I used a stick blender with just some of the yogurt and jalapeno to make a paste so that the jalapeno would be more evenly distributed. A sprinkle of some bacon crumbles on top would be a nice touch too. Let it sit for a day and the heat and flavor will develop more robustly. 

Transfer to a serving bowl and set it out with tortilla chips, red bell pepper strips, cucumber sticks, or Jenn style - with a big spoon. Or spread it in a tortilla and add some chicken, tomatoes, spinach, and black olives for a tasty wrap.

ENJOY!!

(And invite me over when you make a batch!)

Brownies, you're the BOMB!

I don't need much of an excuse to bake.

Any of these reasons would do:

• Mr. Cranky-Pants birthday
• Kristi's birthday
• Lindsay's birthday
• Mr. Cranky-Pants visit to Portland (and he insists that I bake him something every. single. time. he visits.)
• and because of this...

Trader Joe's is now selling crack, er... Speculoos Cookie Butter. 

Since all of the above reasons happened within two weeks time, it wasn't just a good excuse to bake, it was a necessity - and it needed to be over the top good. I have been holding on to this recipe, waiting for a good time to pull it out and drop this sugar bomb. This was it!

A gal at Bible study bought these one week and they were unreal! I'm not sure what she called them, but I have dubbed them "Brownie Bombs" because they are deceptively heavy and fall with a thud, because they cause an explosion on your taste buds, and it feels like a bomb went off in your belly after eating one. A very tasty sugary bomb. 

Start with these essentials:

Okay, those who know me, will understand that I tend to tinker and rarely follow a recipe exactly as written. It's that rebellious spirit in me. So let me state up-front that it would be easier to buy a box brownie mix and fix it according to the package directions. And the original ones I based this on used creamy peanut butter instead of Cookie Butter. But, c'mon! Why? WHY? Why would you use peanut butter when God created Cookie Butter?!?!

Ingredients:

Brownies:

1 box of chocolate flavored cake mix (such as Devil's Food Cake, Dark Chocolate, etc.)

2 eggs

1 stick of butter (1/2 cup), very soft

1/4 cup of dark brown sugar

1/4 unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup of water

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon of sea salt

Also needed...

- 1 1/2 boxes of chocolate sandwich cookies (I recommend Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's, or Whole Foods 365 sandwich cremes, but not the national brand that comes in the blue box.)

-1 jar of Speculoos Cookie Butter (or peanut butter, but not the natural kind like Adam's brand)

Optional toppings...

Trader Joe's "Way More Chocolate Chips Cookies"

Ganache:

8 ounces of semi-sweet chocolate

1/2 cup of heavy cream

1/2 packet of Starbucks Via instant coffee powder

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350°

Add the cake mix and butter to an electric stand mixer (or a large bowl and use a hand mixer) and combine slightly, add in all of the remaining ingredients and mix for a couple minutes. It will be a very thick batter. Because of the fluffy thickness, again, it may be easier to mix up a regular brownie mix that is a bit runnier. But, I made a couple just brownie cupcakes (because I ran out of cookie butter. GASP! The horror!!) and they were pretty much the best brownie I've had in a long time. Just make the cake mix brownie batter. And if you are wondering why I made brownies using a cake mix, well... I'm trying to use up my stash of unhealthy food and get it out of my house. 

Set the brownie batter aside.

Next

Take two (yes, 2. 1,2, do-si-dos) of the sandwich cookies. Smear one with a big dollop of cookie butter and sandwich it together with the second cookie. Like this...

YUMMY!!

Drop this into a cupcake liner in a muffin pan.

An alternative, if you are not using the nasty chemical blue box kind, is to twist a sandwich cookie apart and spread the inside with cookie butter and only use the one cookie. I tried lots of variations. Several variations on cookie to butter ratio, and methods of application, and various baking times. Each batch looked a little different.

Now...

Cover each cookie with brownie batter. One of the variations I tried was putting a scoop of brownie batter into the cup and pushed the cookie sandwich down into it - that didn't work quite as well. If it had been regular (read, runny) brownie batter, it might have been better. I was trying to get the brownie to encase the sandwich better. If you find a way that works, let me know.

Bake for somewhere between 18-24 minutes. (Sorry, you'll have to figure it out exactly.) 

While the brownie bombs are cooling, mix up the ganache by adding all the ingredients into a microwave safe bowl or to a double boiler. In the microwave, heat in 20 second increments, stirring in-between until it is smooth. Spread a spoonful of the ganache on top of the cupcake and top with a "Way More Chocolate Chips Cookie." 

You'll end up with this...

It is very nice!!

Wondering what it looks like on the inside? Are you prepared for this? These really are the bomb-diggity-dot-com best brownies.

Oh, yeah! You can thank me now - and later. 

Five-Minute Friday: {Dance}

I remember going to the Lakewood Center for the Arts at the tender age of 8, maybe it was 7, for ballet classes. It was a love/hate relationship. I wanted to feel pretty. I wanted to have ballet slippers - the kind with the pink satin ribbon that would wrap around your ankle and up your calf, criss-crossing until tied off in a quick knot. But I distinctly remember not liking the teacher. Or the fact that every other week someone new joined the class and we seemed to start all over again. I was already keenly aware that I was big. Too big. And not graceful. I was already self-conscious and wanting to hide. My mother had made a deal with me that if I stayed in the class for a month (or was it three?), then she would open a savings account in my name and put $10 dollars in it for me. That seemed like a fortune and I patiently served my time in ballet class and the moment my sentence was up, I quit the class.
The ironic thing is, thirty-ish years later, I've gone back to dance and ballet class. I'm still not graceful. I'm still aware that I am 'bigger.' But it doesn't bother so much anymore. Instead I love the way it feels to move my body in the rhythmic flow and the way I can express myself without words, interpreting music with movement. In dance I have found another language - a heart language that I wish I had found years earlier. Like maybe thirty years earlier.

(A writing exercise from Lisa-Jo Baker, Five-Minute Friday)

Inky-Dinky-Do

Hello All,

How are you doing this Friday? True confession time: I have a fantasy of someday getting a tattoo. I doubt I’ll ever have the gumption to permanently mark my body with something for life, but I like to pretend that one day I will. And when that day comes, I want to be prepared with a design, something that represents me, says something about who I am, that will be true forever, and ever, amen! As I was dinking around on Pinterest last night I had the idea to type “tattoo” and “ink” into the search bar to see if I would get inspired enough to commit to something. Instead I questioned why I want to join a club of such freaky weird people. (C’mon – there are some frightening and bizarre tattoos out there!)

I looked through the images and thought, well… the time I’ve spent in central/eastern Europe has instilled a fondness for matrushkas. Apparently this girl really likes them too.

 I think I’ll stick with my lil’ pot holders that are mostly non-functional but so cute that I leave them on the counter (and use them as  trivets).

And as y’all know my favorite pastime is kitchen chemistry. I’ve been known to call my professional KitchenAid by the name “My Precious.”  While I am in awe of the artists ability to create the reflective surface, this may be a bit over the top for me. 

 Maybe I should just stick to the basics.

I have a severe case of wanderlust, and want to travel the world. How about getting the globe outlined on my feet? Oh, that’s been done. But I could have each state/country that I visit filled in and slowly color in the map and show where my feet have walked! But then my shoes would clash – that won’t do!

I am rarely without a camera. If I got a tattoo of a camera then I really would never, ever be without one – not that an inked one would be all that helpful.

I readily admit that I have a drinking problem. That’s not changing.

Coffee or tea??

One lump or two??

If an 8.0 earthquake hit, my home would stand strong – held up by books alone.

I like Animal! J (What girl doesn’t have a soft spot for the bad boy drummer??) J

This was the best find of the night!! In my perusing, I even found a photo of Eric's tatted up arm. Nice, dude! (For those who don't know, Eric is one of my co-workers who is constantly razzed about having squirrel slaves that power his house, which is in boon-dock New Hampshire.)

I just found this really funny. J

Well… I’m not inspired just yet. I guess the hunt for the perfect tattoo continues. 

Party Cookies

Opening up my email on afternoon several weeks ago, I was greeted with a reminder for an event the next evening; an event to which I was supposed to bring a dessert. It would be so helpful if I had put that on my calendar. Alas, I needed a quick and easy treat, to give myself an extra challenge I wanted to use as many ingredients that I had on hand as possible. I turned to my favorite web-source of recipes: Pinterest. The weather is turning relatively warmer and chocolate seemed too heavy. I knew I had a package of funfetti cake mix in my cupboard, then I found a recipe for cake batter cookies, and with that I had a plan...

Lemony Funfetti Party Cookies!

Here is what you'll need:

1 - box of Funfetti cake mix

1 cup - white chocolate chips

1/2 cup - plain yogurt

2 - eggs

1 - lemon, zest & juice

1 teaspoon - vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon - lemon extract

dash of salt

Mix

Scoop

Bake 10-12 minutes at 350°

Like I said, I needed something quick and easy and that was a selling point on this recipe. Basically, you dump everything into one bowl and stir it up until just mixed. The dough was really sticky and stiff which made scooping it out a little challenging, I think this was due to replacing the oil with yogurt. I made the substitution to make it a smidge 'healthier' and in hopes of adding some extra tang.

Simply scoop the batter onto a cookie sheet lined with a Silpat®
Bake them for 10-12 minutes at 350°; they won't change color much, just a little tan on top, so be careful not to over bake them. 

I made mostly popper size cookiettes, but I also made a few bigger "regular" size cookies. Straight out of the oven (with a little time to cool) I think the bigger ones tasted better. Yet, the smaller ones tasted very good and even better the next day. 

Yummers! Tangy, zingy, lemony, creamy & happy cookies!