God has been working on my heart to show me how I've created these walls around my heart and myself as a defense and way to keep myself "safe." They have kept me moderately safe by keeping people out and, consequently, keeping God out as well. I'm realizing that I wasn't accepted for "me" and that hurt so I locked myself up and transfered people's rejection of my whimsy personality onto God. So as I was reading my devotions this morning and came across this passage I was stopped dead in my tracks. God wants me to simply and honestly be myself with him. And I can't truly worship God unless I am being my true self. What a radical concept for me. Truth breaking through a shroud of lies that would keep me bound and tumbling the bricks of the fortress walls around my heart. The movie Bridget Jones probably wouldn't seem to connect here considering how smutty it is, but my favorite line which makes my heart ache just thinking of it is: "I like you, just the way your are." What girl doesn't want to hear that, especially from a dashing charming man like Mr. Darcy? I particularly long to hear that affirmation. And wham-o here it is, in the the scripture, a declaration from the true lover of my soul that He wants me to come to him, that he invites me to worship him, that he likes me - just as I am.
23-24"It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."
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