20 February 2010

Soup nipper

I only have one Joniffer story to add today, but I have another story involving a familiar co-worker for your enjoyment too.

As you would expect from co-dependent co-workers, we spent the majority of Friday together. This included "secondsies" - our 10-ish am coffee run. And when I decided to take a short walk around lunch time to drop off my dry cleaning, Jon came with me. A little later when I decided to eat lunch in the lunchroom, getting away from my desk for awhile, Jon did likewise, even though he had already used all of his lunch break going on our walk. While we sat at the table chatting, our tummies full, our manager walked in. My first reaction was slight panic. Was she wondering why we were just sitting in the lunchroom? Especially at 2:30 pm? Would she notice our lunch paraphenalia and know we were legitimately away from our desks? She then started laughing and mentioned, "You two make me laugh! Don't you ever get tired of each other?" We simultaneously answered, "No." with a shrug of our shoulders. Jon's answer may have been more of an "eh" but that means "no," right?

As for my other story, it involves a character mentioned previously who likes to steal my coffee mug, let's just call her "Old Lady Lips" or Ollie for short, to protect her identity.

For the greater part of January the company sponsored a food drive to benefit the Oregon Food Bank. There was good friendly competition between floors; sadly the third floor lost the Golden Plate award this year. The food donation spot was on a table in the lunchroom. One day a case of soup showed up on the table. I noticed it only because I had just bought one can of the same soup at the market and it triggered an idea to bring it in for lunch the next day. The food sat in the lunchroom for many weeks, even after the food drive was over. Some brazen co-worker about two weeks ago must have forgotten lunch and decided to appropriate the case of soup for their lunch. At that time the case went from being part of the donations for the Food Bank to sitting open on the counter next to the microwave. I was stunned that someone was so bold as to take food from the donation pile.

Now fast-forward a few weeks to yesterday. I walked into the lunch room to heat up my stew (yes, more stew.) and was shortly joined by Ollie. While I spooned my barley turkey stew into a bowl, Ollie took a can of soup out the box and started to open it up! I was gobsmacked! She was the one who had taken the soup from the needy? As I tried to process what I was witnessing, she said, "Do you know who brought in this soup? It's really good." WHAT!? I abruptly tell her, "It was originally part of the donations for the Food Bank." Ollie may have picked up on the disapproval in my voice as she attempted to come up with an excuse, "Oh, it must have come in too late to be picked up." Having to duke it out with her for my mug two days before had not left me in a generous mood. "Actually the food was only picked up this week and the soup has been on the counter for a few weeks, and was on the donation table for several weeks before that." She remained quiet for almost a minute. Instead of offering yet another excuse, she said "It's good soup. I wonder where you can find a box like that." I informed her it was from Costco. "Really??" she responded in that annoying high pitched nasal voice of hers. I simply made a "um-hum" sound instead of giving voice to the thoughts in my head - 'no, not really. I'm lying about where you can find soup in some plan to trick you to make a visit to Costco to find soup only to come up empty. Why would you question and doubt me over something so trivial?'

While I would be mortified and ashamed to be caught eating the soup, Ollie didn't even seem flustered. She didn't seem bothered by the fact the soup was intended for the needy and poor, or that the food was counted as part of the donation of the third floor to the Food Bank, and she was eating it. Nor did she seem to recognize the boundaries she had crossed, she was blissfully ignorant of the rules of community office life. I don't know why this surprised me after the incident earlier this week. And I don't know why I guffawed when she put her bowl of soup in the microwave before me, even though I had been there first. I couldn't handle being in the lunchroom with her anymore. I left my bowl on the counter under the microwave and went back to my desk to wait it out. I know it's petty on my part, but I had had my fill of insipidity for the day.

17 February 2010

Coffee Runs and Coffee Mugs

Sitting at Starbucks, reluctant to get up and go back to the office, Jon and I just sat, holding our drinks, looking at each other. With brow furrowed, Jon said, "I should be honest with you," With concern rising, I also raised an eyebrow. He went on to say, "I feel like I'm fighting something, like I might be getting sick. So you might want to keep your distance." "I have some EmergenC in my lunch bag." "Aren't you worried?" "About what?" "Getting sick! We essentially live together." 9 hours a day in a 10' x 8' room, guess we sorta do live together; maybe I should be worried about his germs.

Returning to our office after the team meeting I inform Jon, "I'm still jonesing for my 2nd coffee." Swiveling around in my chair I looked out the transom window that leads into Sarah's office which has real outside windows, and checked if the sun was shining yet; it was. "Actually I just want to get outside."
"No! Not allowed!"
"What!? Not allowed?"
"No, you're never allowed to go outside the building during the work day."
a moment later
Jon: "Do you really want to go to Starbucks?"
Jenn: "Yeah, but you don't have to come with me."
Jon: "No, I want to come."
Jenn: "How have I become so co-dependent? I live on my own, take care of myself, I'm independent, yet in the last two months I've become co-dependent on my co-worker!"
Jon: "Whaaat?" (Jon's favorite word)
Jenn: "I can't go to Starbucks by myself, I can't eat lunch by myself - I've become co-dependent!"
Thankfully, Jon thought it was funny - I think, I hope - he laughed. We might as well be attached at the hip, conjoined co-workers, my brother from a different mother.

As we walked over to Starbucks I whined about how a particular co-worker keeps taking my mug. Our office has a lunchroom on each floor and there is one cabinet for personal mugs, which in theory are not public domain. Apparently, this one gal has decided that my mug should be hers. Jon tried to help me come up with ways to deter her from taking my mug. His idea was to lace the edge of it with a disease such as herpes, gonorrhea, or syphilis. Hm. A little drastic. As we waited for our drinks, Jon scrunched up his face and asked, "Can you really drink from that mug again? She's had her lips on it! It's had old lady lips on it! Eww!!"

Later as we sat in our office I made some comment which prompted him to wonder aloud if it was going to get physical between me and this co-worker. I told Jon, "I can take her." To which Jon said matter-of-factly, " Well, I know that." This is the second reference he has made this week to me physically fighting. What does he think of me?

Life with Jon, always amusing.

10 February 2010

Conjoined Coworkers

Tuesday - 8 am-ish
Jon: Sooooo... did you bring a lunch today?
Jenn: Yeah (said disappointingly)
Jon: You don't sound very excited about it.
Jenn: No. It's stew. I'm not in the mood for stew. Plus I forgot to bring the cheese and sour cream. It isn't nearly as good without the condiments. (Quick scan under Jon's desk where he normally stashes his lunch) Did you not bring a lunch?
Jon: No.
Jenn: oh! We should go out for lunch!
Jon: But you have stew.
Jenn: It'll keep in the fridge until tomorrow.

11:45 am
Jenn: I'm hungry, what are we going to do for lunch?
Jon: I don't know, you've got stew.
Jenn: But I don't want my stew. What are you doing for lunch?
Jon: I don't know. If you don't eat your stew what are you going to eat?
Jenn: I don't know, what are you going to eat?

this goes on, back and forth, for quite some time.

12:30 pm
Jenn: You've never been to Burgerville?!?
Jon: No. Is it good?
Jenn: It's very tasty. It's the only fast food that the author of Fast Food Nation will eat.
Jon: Why?
Jenn: They buy local produce, they can trace the meat back to the ranch or farm.
Jon: That's such an Oregon thing.
Jenn: So should we go?
Jon: Are you sure you don't want your stew?
Jenn: (exasperated) no.
Jon: I think we should go to Burgerville!
Jenn: Okay! Let's go!

Actually left around 1 pm, we had to debate a bit more.

Wednesday 12:30 pm-ish
Jenn: What!? No lunch again? What happened to last night's leftovers?
Jon: There weren't any.
Jenn: Do you want some stew?
Jon: Noooo... I don't want to take your stew!
Jenn: Really, do you want some stew? There's more than enough for two. Wow! That rhymed!
Jon: It sounds like Dr. Suess!
Jenn: I like Dr. Suess!
Jon: You should write a book and start with that! Yeah! Yeah!
Jenn: The Stew for Two book! But seriously, do you want some stew?
Jon: What kind of stew is it?
Jenn: Turkey barley. I remembered the condiments today, so it'll be good. I'll go heat some up while you think about it.

As I start serving up a bowl for me, still not sure what Jon is going to do, he saunters in and looks at the bowl.

Jon: It looks good. I don't want that much, that's fine.
Jenn: This is my bowl! You can serve yourself.
Jon: (grabbing a bowl from the cabinet) Eww! I'm going to get salmonella. Is it really clean?

Joan: So what's the deal? You're bringing lunch for each other now?
Jenn: He didn't have a lunch today, I had plenty, so I'm sharing my extra.
Joan: He's your work husband!
Jenn: Don't let him hear that!
Joan: I have my car husband, we commute together.

(at the same time)
Adam: So you two are the 1pm lunch crowd, huh?
Jon: Yeah...
Adam: Do you just like to eat later?
Jon: Well, we do Starbucks at 10, you see.
Adam: Oh, got it!

09 February 2010

Jenn + Micah = CAKE

Hey Ya'll!!

It's Valentine's Day this Sunday! Time to think sweet for your sweetheart!

Help support an amazing group of boys and young men by bidding on a cake auction.

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