Today I was scheduled to be at a conference. I’ve attended
this conference for the past three years, but this, the fourth year, my enthusiasm
is waning. After dropping 'the kid' off at the airport this morning I started making my way
through town to get to the location of the conference. I missed the exit from
the freeway. I went the wrong way off the second exit. Siri had to guide me to
the location. Once there, it was another ten minutes before I found which
building I was supposed to be at. But even after I checked in and was sitting
in the second (my first) small group session, I wasn’t sure that I had found
where I was supposed to be – not really. I listened to stories and struggled
with feeling small. Why am I here? My small life isn’t making an impact. Am I
willing to abandon my life and move to faraway lands to make a difference? My
faith is too small, my vision too small, my selfishness too big.
Perhaps, I am not too small – but rather I have not found
where I belong; I have changed and no longer fit, not too small just a
different shape.
Note to self - Don’t compare mandarins to grapefruits, and judge
yourself small, you’re just different.
{side note: I left for the lunch break, and just didn't quite make it back. I found a sunny spot at my favorite tea shop and a warm, delicious sweet mug of chai and decided to take care of myself.}
{side note: I left for the lunch break, and just didn't quite make it back. I found a sunny spot at my favorite tea shop and a warm, delicious sweet mug of chai and decided to take care of myself.}
5 comments:
Ohhh, so much truth to what you wrote! Seasons of life change us and we find that we no longer fit in which used to be familiar or seemed right. It's hard to take that uncomfortable step away from there, isn't it? Quite honestly, I heard myself whisper "GOOD FOR YOU! BRAVO!" when you wrote that you didn't quite make it back. God perhaps has something else in mind for you and it can be something even better!
Blessings,
Tammy ~@~
It's easy to see people who seem know know what their path is and feel lesser than. Glad you realized you're not! Hope you enjoyed your Chai, its my favorite tea! :)
God directs the heart and the feet. He takes us where he wants us when he wants us there...whether it is a continent away or to the next door neighbor. Even small things can be done with great love...but people long to be able to tell great stories to people about what they've done...but all I have to tell is the GREAT story of what God has done in my life. Each of us has our own story of that....
No, you are not too small. God is just leading you in a new direction. That is wonderful that you recognized the change in yourself, and prayers on the new place your journey takes you! Thanks for sharing.
It's easy to feel small, but we are never too small for Him. His eye is on the sparrow, and even much more on us. Don't be too quick to count yourself small, you never know what great thing He has planned for you!
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