Things

"I know things shouldn't matter, well you get used to them, don't you?" -Bobbi in the movie "The Railway Children"

When I heard this line, I thought, "How perfectly stated!" As I've been going back and forth in my head about the possibility of moving I keep thinking how I have too much stuff. The idea of packing it all up is totally overwhelming. People do it every day but I have only really moved once and I dread the idea of moving. I wonder how I have accumulated so much stuff in such a short time frame. And I almost resent the stuff because it ties me down. I found myself the other day looking around my living room wondering what I could get rid of so that I could start to pare down my belongings to make it easier to move and give myself more freedom. Lovely things don't matter, you can't take them with you. What matters is people's souls. I know that my home was a gift from God, but how can I justify not meeting the needs of people, of not answering God's call because I wanted to enjoy my stuff and be comfortable? It's a conundrum that I need to work out. Like Bobbi said- things shouldn't matter but you get used to them.

By the way, the movie is based on a juvenile novel by Edith Nesbit. There are a couple movie versions, I've watched two from Netflix, I've loved both of them, it's an excellent story.

DC? Seattle? Azusa? Home?

As I've broadened my neverending job search outside of Portland I've found some very interesting jobs. Ones that I would actually really like, enjoy, and find satisfying. But am I willing to move away from home? During a phone interview the other day I was struck with how I've never really lived away from home. I live five 1/2 miles from my parents now and just 7 miles from the home I grew up in. I feel so boring. Part of me wants to take one of the jobs out of state just to do something drastic, to shake it up. Another part of me likes being close to what I know, my parents and family and my friends. Am I willing to give that up? I think it comes down to what I value more: proximity to family and friends or a job that is satisfying. I met Paige for coffee this morning and she was telling me how much she enjoyed living in the DC area for eight years and it makes it sound appealing. It could be a great adventure for a couple years. But do I want to do something for just a couple years and be unsettled? If the question were whether I'd be willing to move to Bend, it wouldn't even be a question, I'd would totally move there.

Argh! Why do I have to make everything so complicated? If I'm not willing to move and value proximity to family and friends over job role, then I need to restructure my job search and be willing to consider 'lesser' jobs and withdraw my name from the handful of jobs that I have already applied for. Anybody have any wisdom?