10 June 2010

A Reason to...

...Use Paper Towels on Door Handles.
This morning I had trouble waking up, nothing unusual. I hit the snooze, again, and again, and again. Finally lifting my face out of the pillow I tried to open my eyes, but had trouble. My right eye was all gunked up and wouldn't open. I managed to get it clear only to see an eye that was beyond bloodshot. It was a day for Visine. Drop, drop, drop, and let it do its work while in the shower. By the time I put my contacts in my eye looked normal. I was good to go. (This is building up to something, really.)

A couple hours later my eyes were feeling horrible. Time to switch to glasses. Grabbing the glasses I keep in my file cabinet for days like this I headed to the bathroom where a bottle of saline is kept. While I scrubbed my hands everyone's favorite mug stealing soup nipper came in. Despite everything she still surprises me. WARNING: You may not want to continue reading, think about it, the setting is in the bathroom and I'm writing about soup nipper - do you really want to know?
So, for those brave enough to keep reading, as I filled the contact case with saline and plucked the filmy contacts out of my eyes, soup nipper came in. She came in, went through to the stalls, made use of one and was back out in under a minute, maybe even under 30 seconds. What?! Women are not capable of such speedy use of the facilities, they're just not, especially older women! I'm certainly not and I'm half her age. It makes me wonder how she manages, or what she is doing. I don't want to think about it, but I couldn't help myself. I decided to leave it at one possibility - a colostomy bag, it would be quick to empty - I think, maybe, I don't know. I don't want to think about it.

But the story doesn't end there. In my world after using the toilet you always, always, always wash your hands. And to wash your hands properly you should wash them for 20 seconds, about the time it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" or "Jesus Loves Me." Apparently that is not true for soup nippers. In her world one quick millisecond swipe under the faucet is sufficient. My only response - (shuddering) EWW! If someone has a need of a toilet, they have a need to wash their hands after wards and that includes using soap. And that is the reason to start using paper towels to open the door when exiting the bathroom at work.

...Be Thankful For The NBA Playoffs.
Walking out of the locker room and into the main cardio area of the gym I was surprised at how empty it seemed. Granted, I had left work late and was getting a slow start, but it is rare that my favorite treadmill is available on a weeknight, even at 6ish. It wasn't until about the time I was leaving that I realized, with a big "OH!" that the NBA playoff game was on. Of course the guys would chose to watch the game in a more enjoyable place than the gym! C'mon Lakers and Celtics, take it to game 7! Just have those games on weeknights when I'm at the gym.

...Not Take Your Style Cues From Star Wars.
I was doing my floor work, finishing up at the gym, when a young guy joined me in the general area. I was laying on my side facing him while doing leg lifts. First I noticed that he was wearing Chaco sandals, so I put him in the outdoorsy yoga rock climbing group. But what really caught my attention was the bright red shade of his toes, especially his little toe. We are talking seriously red to the point I almost asked him what was wrong with his feet, if he had had frostbite at some point. I thought better of it and controlled my curiosity. Then I noticed he had one long small braid behind his right ear with the rest of his hair rather short. He looked like the teenage Anakin Skywalker from the 2nd (or is it the 5th) Star Wars movie. Some people need to choose who they model their personal style after a little more judiciously.

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