February is for Heartbreak

February is the month of love. Thanks to that one singular day smack dab in the middle the whole month is flavored with gushy notions of love. Normally I get caught up in the hype, decorate the house, bake treats – but not this year! Nope. February has been a month of heartache and break-ups. It has been a rough month which has wiped me out emotionally. Saying a fond farewell to a long-term relationship was not easy, and there hasn’t been a day yet that I haven’t thought longingly about reuniting. Fantasized, really. I have gone so far as to live vicariously through others – and I must say it isn’t nearly as satisfying. During a snow weekend a few weeks ago I was out for a walk in the freezing cold, enjoying the beautiful white world, when I caught a hint of my forsaken love and it brought me to a full stop. I stood there on the sidewalk, in the snow, breathing deeply to a point of near euphoria. My resolve to end the relationship was worn thin and stretched almost to the breaking point. It was only a sense of social norms that kept me from walking up to the house from which the heavenly scent was coming from and asking for a cup of coffee.

Yes, that’s right. I’m talking about coffee.

Even though I have an obsessive love for that versatile bean, I decided to have a trial separation which started February 1^st. I still long, yearn, and crave coffee.

Every.

Single.

Day.

On February 1^st I started the auto-immune paleo protocol (AIP for short) which eliminates all high inflammation triggers such as coffee, chocolate, dairy, grains, nuts, seeds, eggs, nightshades, etc. It’s challenging, especially since it means I am making food from scratch for every single meal. (Although there is an awesome food cart called “Cultured Caveman” that has delicious food that is “safe” and has become my Friday treat.) It is a good thing I enjoy cooking because these days just about all my spare time is spent in the kitchen. But of all the things I gave up, coffee has been the hardest.

To help ease the transition, I have been making this weird “drink” that is surprisingly tasty. I found the inspiration on Mark’s Daily Apple. But have tweaked it to my own liking. Here is my variation:

Niffer's Warming Tea

Ingredients:

1 Can of whole coconut milk

½ can of water

½ - 1 tablespoon of turmeric

1 thumb size piece of ginger, grated

½ tablespoon of cinnamon

2-4 tablespoons of honey

(Tip: buy fresh ginger, peel it when you get home then stick it in the freezer. When you need ginger for a recipe, grate the frozen ginger using a Microplane grater and you end up with finely ‘shredded’ ginger.)

Directions:

Place everything into a pot and mix well. The turmeric will turn it bright yellow – be careful – turmeric will stain!! Heat on a low simmer for at least a half hour. Pour, and enjoy!

I leave the pot simmering and sip on small mugs of it during the day. Sometimes I add more honey when I need a sweet fix. Other days I add less water and have a more decadent drink. I've also mixed it up without the water and kept in the fridge overnight and make a mug by using the coconut milk mix and boiling water.

It sounds like a weird concoction but I made my mom try it and even she liked it (I’m still working on her to give kombucha and my homemade ginger kraut another try). Really, it’s a super healthy drink – coconut milk is chock full of good stuff, ginger is great for your digestive system, turmeric is a wonder spice that alleviates inflammation and can help fight cancer, cinnamon helps regulate blood sugar and is anti-bacterial, honey is anti-bacterial and soothing. Plus, it has a strong taste and a full mouth feel that mimics my coffee and cream. There are days when I actually crave this drink now. 

While I do hope that my break-up with coffee (and chocolate, and dairy, and nuts... everything that's off limits) isn't forever, for now we are total splitsville. What keeps me going is that I am actually starting to see small improvements. 
Dear Coffee, please just don't say good-bye forever. I miss you horribly. Really it's not you, it's me. I just need some time to heal, but I've never stopped loving you. I hope we can get back together real soon, because breaking up is hard to do.  Much love, Niff  xoxoxoxoxoxo

My Top Paleo Resources

I am by no means well-versed in "paleo-ese" but I'm learning.
It has been suggested that I list some of my top sources for learning this new language and lifestyle, so here it goes...

For the BIG picture and all the ins & outs...
Robb Wolf @ http://robbwolf.com - The Paleo Solution
Loren Cordain @ http://thepaleodiet.com - The Paleo Diet (Revised)
Both of these guys tend to go in-depth with the science, which I geek out about. If you want a more user-friendly introduction to paleo, check out these resources:
Dallas & Melissa Hartwig @ http://whole9life.com - It Starts With Food
Jason Seib @ http://everydaypaleo.com - The Paleo Coach

If you only buy one book - get "The Paleo Coach" by Jason Seib. It has more than enough information to get started, and if you want to dig into more science later, there is time for that. But get the basics, and most importantly, get the mindset right from the start, by reading Jason's book. He rocks. To be honest, I do train at his gym, but I made that decision because I read his book first; I wanted to train with awesomeness.

He offers nutrition seminars about once a month at the gym which are free and open to the public, the next one is Sunday, July 21st at 10am. I am going, if you'd like to join me.

There is paleo, and then there is auto-immune paleo protocol (AIP) which I try to follow, sorta. If you have any sort of auto-immune issue - Crohn's, Rheumatoid, Hashimoto's, lupus, Celiac, rosecea, lichen planus, eczema,  etc. - chances are you'd see great improvement with just the paleo diet, but if you want to take it a step further to really get your immune system back inline, which I do (or I say I do, but actions speak louder, hmm...), here are some of the better resources I have found, although the ones mentioned above all have a section on auto-immunity as well.

Diane Sanfillippo @ Balanced Bites - Practical Paleo
Sarah Ballantyne @ The Paleo Mom - The Paleo Approach
Both of these gals have podcasts with a partner in crime which can be educational and entertaining (and very girl centric - sorry dudes!).
Mickey Trescott a@ http://autoimmune-paleo.com/ has a great cookbook just for AIP.
A couple other AIP blogs...
http://alt-ternativeuniverse.blogspot.com/
http://www.rubiesandradishes.com/
http://www.nutrisclerosis.com/
http://www.phoenixhelix.com/
http://autoimmunefoodie.blogspot.com/

Just like there are different 'twists' on paleo, and what it is or is not, and what is "allowable" - the same is true for AIP, although for the most part all of the above resources agree on the major components. Consider this fair warning that there is no one set, agreed upon, official, protocol.

If you are wanting to have me over for dinner, and wondering "What the 'blank-ity-blank-blank' can I cook for you?" there are lots of resources for recipes online. Some are easier to adapt to AIP,  but if you're cooking for me, and it's at least paleo - I won't even care. (Just remember my extremely bad reaction to mushrooms, bananas, and eggs and we're golden.)
http://chowstalker.com/
http://nomnompaleo.com/
http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/
http://everydaypaleo.com/
http://www.primalpalate.com/
http://acleanplate.com/
http://paleoparents.com/
http://www.health-bent.com/
http://thedomesticman.com/
http://paleoista.com/
http://civilizedcavemancooking.com/ A good looking single dude who cooks paleo - curse the age gap...

For more info, resources, and recipes...
If you are friends with me on Facebook - I have an interest list called "Paleo Highlights" which is a feed of all the paleo related people/companies that I follow. On Twitter, I have a tweet list from paleo-files. And my obsession, Pinterest, has a "Pay-lee-O" board.

And some other not-quite-paleo resources that are great places of information...
http://www.dietitiancassie.com/
http://thesmarterscienceofslim.com/
http://www.primalbody-primalmind.com/
http://www.gnolls.org/
http://garytaubes.com/
http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/
http://www.foodrenegade.com/
http://girlmeetsnourishment.com/gmnwordpress1/
http://www.livingthenourishedlife.com/
http://empoweredsustenance.com/

Emerald City Weekend

Seattle may not be home to the Wizard of Oz, but it is the "Emerald City."

While looking out over the city from the 73rd floor of the Columbia Building, both mom and I remarked about how green it was, how many trees softened the lines of the city.

But Seattle has some real gems and this last weekend I was able to enjoy several of them. The backdrop for the weekend was the Rock n' Roll half marathon, which was the perfect opportunity to be a mother-daughter weekend.

We were treated to a coffee date with the adorable Micah. A guy I'm just getting to know, but has been one of my brother's good friends for years. He is quickly becoming another "lil' bro" which makes me happy.

I had a food revelation at Cuoco with  their vegan carrot soup. Seriously. I want to go back to Seattle right now for more of that soup.

Saturday morning I woke to clear blue skies and a bright shining sun, not a shred of clouds left from the night before; perfect race weather! Since I was in corral 41 (and that wasn't even the last corral!) the estimated start time for me was 8:26 am, so I didn't even plan to be up at the start line until 8 am - an hour after the first corral started the race. As I was leaving the hotel, a gentleman looked at me and with a tone of pity asked, "Oh, could you not finish the race?" Panic set in - was I too late?? I quickly responded, "I have an 8 am start time." And then took off as fast as I could in the general direction of where I thought the start line was at the Seattle Center. As I topped the hill of Denny Way, approaching 5th Avenue, there were a stream of runners in front of me, mostly with bib numbers in the 35-38 corral, but low enough that I panicked even more - the waves were going faster than anticipated. I finally found my way to the start line and walked a little ways down and just jumped in a corral. I was warmed up from running to the start. With a few minutes to wait until starting I tried to stretch a little, but in no time I was off and running.

My goal for this race was simply to finish; I haven't been training like I should be for an event of this length. As long as I finished, I could pick up my "heavy medal" - the "Pacific Peaks" medal only available to those who completed the Portland and Seattle Rock n' Roll events. I do like my bling. :) But the only requirement was finishing, there was no need to go all out. But I am me, once on the course that hyper-competitive side comes out. I was keeping a great pace, my splits were looking good for setting a record (or at least matching my best time) - that is until mile 9ish. My second toe on my right foot started cramping and curling under, pulling on my Achilles so that I couldn't run.  It was the strangest sensation. I had to slow up, my pace slipped, ambition had to surrender to wisdom. Regardless, watching my average pace time grow on my watch with each mile split was disheartening. Although slowing down allowed "Dr. Dribble" to catch up with me. Have you heard of him? He is trying to set a record of some sort for doing the most marathons while dribbling two basketballs (or the fastest, or something). I kid you not, look him up. He didn't even stop dribbling at the water station, but had a gal pour water down his gullet all the while dribbling. And I thought I was crazy.

I ended up finishing right about my average time. I still got the Seattle finishers medal, just like the first person across the line; I still got the Pacific Peaks medal. (But dagnabit!! I was doing better!) Aren't they pretty?

Post race I indulged in not one but TWO venti iced coffees from Starbucks. Have I told y'all lately how much I love coffee and miss it horribly? Because I love coffee, in case you were wondering. And it was as delicious as I was anticipating for 13.1 miles. I may just possibly be back on the coffee wagon. We sat outside and ate our lunches from Whole Foods, basking in the glorious weather, and making new friends with Travis and his dog Daisy. With a touch of sunburn, we finally went up to the room which had an enormous soaking tub, perfect for muscles already sore and tightening up.

With an hour to kill before dinner plans, we headed downtown to the Columbia Building which has an observation center on the 73rd floor. Even though clouds and haze obscured the peaks of the Olympic range, the views were really great; it was a fun new adventure.

For dinner we met up with Julie and Rob for a fabulous evening of drinks, chips n' salsa, and conversation. Rob is one of those "lil' brothers" whom I have known since he and my brother became friends their freshman year of high school. He has grown up a lot over the years, but he still calls my mom every Mother's Day which makes him truly a gem in my book. Even though he and Julie have been together for years, and married last year, I haven't had a chance to get to know her, but Saturday evening was a great opportunity and I just adore her. I'm so thankful they made time to visit with us.

Sunday morning we were up and out of the hotel early to get across town to meet another gem of a friend at Starbucks. (More coffee!!! :} ) We blitzed through the highlights of the last year or so getting caught up on each others lives in the one hour before church started. Michelle and I decided to do a walk together sometime soon; I'm looking forward to having her delightful company for the miles - if you know of a good event coming up, let me know.

Church filled my heart with joy, because this church is the blessing of God on precious friends who started it last fall. Darren and Kelly have been through some rough times, and periods of uncertainty where it wasn't clear what God was doing. But He was preparing them and making the way for Imprint Church, where they are thriving and it is obvious God is blessing this work. I just love that family!

With one more Starbucks stop, we started the trek back south. A short detour in Tacoma to the Museum of Glass gave me my Chihuly fix that I missed in Seattle. We didn't go inside, except the gift shop, (and to use the facilities, after all that coffee, you'd need to go too!), but there is enough to see in public spaces to satisfy my art loving side for the time being. Although, I am planning to go back to Seattle this summer to see the Chihuly exhibit at the Seattle Center; who wants to join me?

It was a wonderful weekend, filled with wonderful people who I truly love. But the best of them all is my momma. We stopped in Lake Oswego for dinner at Burgerville and I sat there delaying the end of our quick trip, not wanting to drop her off. I'm so thankful to have such a great friend in her. Watch out San Fran - we are hitting you next - with my Momar as well!! I'm so excited I can hardly wait for October! Now that trip will be epic!

Periodic Status Update

Over a month has passed since the grand auto-immune paleo experiment began, which means it is time for a self-reported check-in.

General paleo compliance -- 94%
Auto-immune paleo compliance -- 83%
(my very scientific & accurate guesstimation)

It is not perfect, but I'm okay with that. The goal is to have a straight 30 days of 100% compliance to the auto-immune protocol at some point soon; it will require more lead time to work up to that. There are a few hurdles to cross that just keep tripping me up. They are named: nuts, paprika, caffeine, and a tiny hurdle the size of Andre the Giant of cocoa powder.

And then there were a few instances that were not paleo, and therefore, obviously not AIP either. Absentee-brain moments. My sweet, thoughtful mother had bought me some groceries after my trip to Washington, D.C. One item was an organic heat & eat beef roast from Trader Joe's. She had made the comment, "It is organic, so I think you can have it." Awww... you think it's hard for me trying to figure out what is on the yes/no list, my poor mother is having a heckuva time! It seemed logical, but it wasn't until I was tossing the packaging into the recycle bin that I noticed soy was listed in the ingredients for the sauce. Dang it! I ate it anyhow. That blasted soy is insidious and is in e v e r y t h i n g. It is really hard to avoid. It is even in tea! TEA!?!?

Giving up coffee has been one of the hardest aspects. Harder than chocolate!! I started drinking more tea (lots more), which I love equally as well, but it just doesn't have that same texture and "kick" that coffee does. I counted down the days to day 31, when I would try reintroducing coffee. Attempting to stack the odds in my favor, I even made cold-brew coffee the day before hoping the lower acidity would help. Just the smell  of it in the house was euphoric. Giddy with excitement in the morning I made my first cup of coffee, and it tasted odd (had I lost my taste for it?). After finishing off the first cup, a fresh cup was made, and drunk. And then, my body told me NO MORE COFFEE!! Oh, coffee... how I love you. Why, WHY won't you love me back???

Even though nuts have sporadically been eaten, I have stayed away from them enough that when I do have them, I notice it - and not in a good way. Once I get more into a groove, and get this whole AIP thing more ingrained, I will eliminate the nuts completely until I can get my gut healed. First, I need to find a substitute for that glove compartment "emergency snack."

Has it been easy? Oh, heavens to Betsy, NO! But does it seem worth it? Yes. One of the hardest aspects was my cocky assumption that I would transition with ease. My logic was that I was mostly paleo already, becoming a little more restrictive wouldn't be so bad, cutting out my occasional indulgences wouldn't have much impact. I read a couple 'what to expect in the first 30 days' kind of blog posts and sort of blew them off with, "So little is changing, I'll probably just skim right over these phases." Reality is the opposite, not only have I gone through the 'slump' stage and the 'I crave everything - even things I wouldn't have normally eaten' stage, but they have lasted at least twice as long as the norm. There is a lot more balancing, tweaking, and experimenting to do until I figure out what my body needs. (And with my luck, right when I figure it out, it will change.)

I was hoping the results would be nearly instantaneous, miraculous even. Although I knew that was far from likely, I'm still a little disappointed it didn't happen. Yet, my main flare spot - my right middle knuckle has calmed down some. When I make a fist, there are four distinct knuckles again instead of one normal and one massive blob. It is going to take time, patience, and persistence in following the course. Other issues are starting to improve as well; my sinus allergies are improving, my energy level is more even, my (ahem!) digestive issues, etc.

Onward, ho!! 

Lab Rat, Table for One!

It was probably around ten years ago now when I sat in the exam room, meeting with my Rheumatologist, discussing options and the effectiveness of the latest drug I was trying, and I asked 'Are there any recommendations for nutritional therapy?' Brusquely she answered, 'Diet doesn't have any impact on the disease.' I tried to explain that I had noticed a correlation between my symptoms and certain foods, which was quickly dismissed. Not long after this incidence the same doctor told me that I needed to go on to a level 3 drug - a biologic modifier - since I had exhausted all of the options in class 1 and 2 with no significant improvement. Considering I had been on a variety of drugs and experienced minimal, if any, benefit, but most of the side-effects, including the really odd and rare ones, I was not eager to start a new medication (Humira being the one pushed) that a frequent side-effect was leukemia.

So doc, you want to put me on a drug that may help alleviate the symptoms of the rheumatoid arthritis, but I also will have a good chance of developing cancer. Yeah, that sounds like a great plan.

I don't think so.      

I never went back to that doctor. Instead, I started seeing a naturopathic doctor. It has been helpful, but it hasn't solved the problem. While experimenting with different supplements over the past 8 or so years, I have also learned a great deal. One thing I have become convinced of: I can 'cure' myself of the rheumatoid arthritis, an auto-immune disease, through nutrition. God made our bodies incredibly intricate, and with an innate ability to heal - if we give it the proper building blocks. Yet, knowing this and implementing it is a different story; it can be very confusing to know exactly what is the proper nutrition for healing. There is a lot of information out there on the interwebs, a lot of conflicting information.  I'm sort of a weirdo in that I really enjoy researching nutrition and health issues. The list of blogs that I regularly read, the books highlighted and lining my shelves, the food based documentaries watched, the podcasts I listen to while commuting should be worthy of a degree in nutrition. Seriously. But all the information can lead to info-paralysis, a state I know all too well.

Two years ago I was stuck in a vicious cycle. The RA raised my systemic inflammation, which told my body to store fat, which raised my inflammation, which aggravated the RA, which raised my systemic inflammation, and around and around it went. Around the time I realized that something had to be done about the excess fat I was carrying if I ever hoped to get the RA under control, several friends were losing weight. Polling each of them about how they were doing it, I got the same answer: Take Shape for Life. So I jumped on the bandwagon. And it worked, for about six months and 50 pounds. Then I went to Honduras for a week, and then Czech Republic for two weeks. It was a huge struggle to get back on track that I couldn't quite master for more than a month at a time, and even during those month sprints the scale wouldn't budge like it had before. Part of this is because I started training hard and exercising too much for the program. Another part was that all of the program's foods contained at least one or multiple ingredients that I knew I reacted to badly. I have my theories about why it didn't bother me at first, but then started being a problem, but I won't bore you that much. And the stress component fought me too.

While thinking of New Year's Resolutions this past January, I asked myself the question - 'If I were at a healthy weight and didn't need to eat weird packaged powdered food-like substances, how would I want to eat for my best health?' From my research, it was pretty easy to describe what seemed to be the best way of eating, but I wanted to drop more weight before starting to eat that way. Making wholesale changes at once is overwhelming, and often not lasting, so I made a plan to adopt one change a month towards my ideal while sticking to the Take Shape program to lose the weight. Good plan, right? And it has been (except the weight loss part-that wasn't happening).

Three weeks ago I was working on my Bible study while eating breakfast before work and my knuckle was so painful and swollen that I could hardly hold a pen to write my answers. That was my breaking point. No more lying to myself, my RA was not under control, the flare-ups were too frequent, a new hot spot had developed in the last six months. In addition, auto-immune begets auto-immune, and the last time I had my thyroid checked the results had some suspicious numbers pointing to the beginnings of Hashimoto's disease, and this last winter I started having symptoms of Reynaud's disease. This is not okay.

It is time to make some changes. Time to make my health - and regaining great health - a priority. Top priority. What does that mean? No more incremental changes. I'm jumping in cannon ball style into the paleo lifestyle pool. But not just any ordinary variation of it, I'm going to follow the auto-immune paleo protocol. And let me tell you, it is going to be TOUGH. My month-by-month resolutions were leading me to a paleo lifestyle already and by March I had almost given up all sugar (my vice is Endangered Species Black Panther 88% dark chocolate bar), ditched all dairy - even cheese which I doubted I could do, and every grain & legume - including soy. And I was feeling much better. Then I went on vacation last week and after the race tossed all my good eating habits out the window - and suffered.  The auto-immune variety of paleo cuts out all nightshade plants and their derivatives: tomatoes, tomato paste, eggplant, peppers, paprika, chili powder, etc. Pretty much all of the main-stays of my cooking. Brutal. Oh, did I mention that it suggests (mandates) avoiding coffee? Shoot me now. Is this going to be the magic bullet? I don't know. This is all experimentation. But if the anecdotal results others have shared can be even partially true for me, it is worth it. Feeling good is better than coffee, right? RIGHT??!!??

I can do it.
I know I can.
Because I am Streger Strong!
We don't quit, we persevere!

But prayers are very much appreciated.
No coffee. {whimper} 

Ladies Night Gets Hot Under the Collar!

We were headed to Bend for the weekend which, in my opinion, necessitates a stop in Sisters for refreshments after coming over the mountains. My mother sat across from me at the picnic table behind the Sno-Cap diner, watching me as I took my first bite of a jalapeno pepper jack cheeseburger. She just watched as I enjoyed that first bite, which is always the best, and let out a sigh of delight. Her own burger waiting in her hands while all her attention was on me. After a moment to chew she asked if it was good. I gave an enthusiastic "mmm-hmmm!!" while my mouth burned with delight. "Is it spicy?" she asked. "Oh, yeah!" I replied as I wiped my nose on the back of my hand, it already running from the heat of the peppers. "I have NO idea where you came from!" mom offered back, sounding dumbfounded. We laughed at the oddity that I am in the family, the only one who likes spicy food among a bunch of milquetoast eaters. For crying out loud, my dad thinks garlic is too spicy! Garlic! It doesn't even have any heat! I am happy being the anomaly in the family, adding hot sauce, cayenne, and peppers to my food freely and liberally. I finished my cheeseburger, slowly, frequently stopping to let the fire die down enough so that I could actually taste it again, and to dab away the tears that would well up in my eyes, or wipe away the snot that threatened to run down my upper lip. That was one good burger!

I don't know what my body is trying to tell me, but this summer has been the season of jalapeno cravings. And I do mean crave! That's weird, right? I think so. I have been coming up with some creative ways to add the green heat to different dishes, but one tops it all - jalapeno popper dip!

I tried it out for the first time for ladies night several weeks ago. On a balmy Saturday evening a group of us gathered at Katie's house for food, conversation, laughter, and friendship. For the most part we were all friends in high school. Although they have maintained the relationships over the years, I am just recently re-forging these friendships - much to my delight. I was thrilled when I was invited to girl's night, my awkward self-conscious inner teenager was amazed that I was being included into the inner circle with the cool kids. This meant I needed to impress them with my culinary contribution to the Mexican themed dinner; I wanted to prove my value and worth to the evening's offerings with hopes of being invited again. This seemed like a perfect occasion to try out the recipe that I had recently pinned and hadn't stopped thinking about.

While it was a big hit and was very tasty, I felt it missed the mark. It tasted like a really good spicy queso dip, but not a dip reminiscent of jalapeno poppers. Of course I didn't follow the recipe exactly - that just isn't in my nature. Instead of the fresh and canned jalapeno, I substituted diced roasted jalapenos. Oh, and I used Trader Joe's Extra Extra New York Sharp Cheddar and Black Pepper Crusted Parmesan. One last tweak - since Traders doesn't carry fat free cream cheese, I used light. But I made up for this by using Fage 0% Greek yogurt. Oh... and, forget the bread crumbs.
Here is the original recipe: Jalapeno Popper Dip

Since then I have been experimenting with the recipe and have come up with something that I really like, that truly is reminiscent of a jalapeno popper! I can't stop eating the stuff! I still have a little refinement to work out, I'm not totally happy with the consistency as it has to be fairly hot for it to be dip-able. But at room temperature or cold, it is solid enough to use as a spread, which has its advantages as well (think sandwiches).

Here is my version:
Jenn's Jalapeno Poppin' Dip
Ingredients:

• 1 block (8 ounces) of light cream cheese
• 1 cup of Greek yogurt (I prefer Fage brand)
• 1 cup of sharp cheddar (Tillamook's Vintage White Sharp Cheddar is especially good)
• 2 (or more) roasted jalapenos, finely diced - ribs and seeds removed, if any of the skin is extra black you may want to remove that as well. 
• 1/2 - 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1/4 teaspoon of cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon of chili powder
• 1/4 teaspoon of cracked black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon of sugar

Directions: 

Dump everything into a saucepan over low-med heat and stir frequently until the cheddar is melted. Done. Yes, it really is that easy. 

I used a stick blender with just some of the yogurt and jalapeno to make a paste so that the jalapeno would be more evenly distributed. A sprinkle of some bacon crumbles on top would be a nice touch too. Let it sit for a day and the heat and flavor will develop more robustly. 

Transfer to a serving bowl and set it out with tortilla chips, red bell pepper strips, cucumber sticks, or Jenn style - with a big spoon. Or spread it in a tortilla and add some chicken, tomatoes, spinach, and black olives for a tasty wrap.

ENJOY!!

(And invite me over when you make a batch!)

Brownies, you're the BOMB!

I don't need much of an excuse to bake.

Any of these reasons would do:

• Mr. Cranky-Pants birthday
• Kristi's birthday
• Lindsay's birthday
• Mr. Cranky-Pants visit to Portland (and he insists that I bake him something every. single. time. he visits.)
• and because of this...

Trader Joe's is now selling crack, er... Speculoos Cookie Butter. 

Since all of the above reasons happened within two weeks time, it wasn't just a good excuse to bake, it was a necessity - and it needed to be over the top good. I have been holding on to this recipe, waiting for a good time to pull it out and drop this sugar bomb. This was it!

A gal at Bible study bought these one week and they were unreal! I'm not sure what she called them, but I have dubbed them "Brownie Bombs" because they are deceptively heavy and fall with a thud, because they cause an explosion on your taste buds, and it feels like a bomb went off in your belly after eating one. A very tasty sugary bomb. 

Start with these essentials:

Okay, those who know me, will understand that I tend to tinker and rarely follow a recipe exactly as written. It's that rebellious spirit in me. So let me state up-front that it would be easier to buy a box brownie mix and fix it according to the package directions. And the original ones I based this on used creamy peanut butter instead of Cookie Butter. But, c'mon! Why? WHY? Why would you use peanut butter when God created Cookie Butter?!?!

Ingredients:

Brownies:

1 box of chocolate flavored cake mix (such as Devil's Food Cake, Dark Chocolate, etc.)

2 eggs

1 stick of butter (1/2 cup), very soft

1/4 cup of dark brown sugar

1/4 unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup of water

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon of sea salt

Also needed...

- 1 1/2 boxes of chocolate sandwich cookies (I recommend Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's, or Whole Foods 365 sandwich cremes, but not the national brand that comes in the blue box.)

-1 jar of Speculoos Cookie Butter (or peanut butter, but not the natural kind like Adam's brand)

Optional toppings...

Trader Joe's "Way More Chocolate Chips Cookies"

Ganache:

8 ounces of semi-sweet chocolate

1/2 cup of heavy cream

1/2 packet of Starbucks Via instant coffee powder

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350°

Add the cake mix and butter to an electric stand mixer (or a large bowl and use a hand mixer) and combine slightly, add in all of the remaining ingredients and mix for a couple minutes. It will be a very thick batter. Because of the fluffy thickness, again, it may be easier to mix up a regular brownie mix that is a bit runnier. But, I made a couple just brownie cupcakes (because I ran out of cookie butter. GASP! The horror!!) and they were pretty much the best brownie I've had in a long time. Just make the cake mix brownie batter. And if you are wondering why I made brownies using a cake mix, well... I'm trying to use up my stash of unhealthy food and get it out of my house. 

Set the brownie batter aside.

Next

Take two (yes, 2. 1,2, do-si-dos) of the sandwich cookies. Smear one with a big dollop of cookie butter and sandwich it together with the second cookie. Like this...

YUMMY!!

Drop this into a cupcake liner in a muffin pan.

An alternative, if you are not using the nasty chemical blue box kind, is to twist a sandwich cookie apart and spread the inside with cookie butter and only use the one cookie. I tried lots of variations. Several variations on cookie to butter ratio, and methods of application, and various baking times. Each batch looked a little different.

Now...

Cover each cookie with brownie batter. One of the variations I tried was putting a scoop of brownie batter into the cup and pushed the cookie sandwich down into it - that didn't work quite as well. If it had been regular (read, runny) brownie batter, it might have been better. I was trying to get the brownie to encase the sandwich better. If you find a way that works, let me know.

Bake for somewhere between 18-24 minutes. (Sorry, you'll have to figure it out exactly.) 

While the brownie bombs are cooling, mix up the ganache by adding all the ingredients into a microwave safe bowl or to a double boiler. In the microwave, heat in 20 second increments, stirring in-between until it is smooth. Spread a spoonful of the ganache on top of the cupcake and top with a "Way More Chocolate Chips Cookie." 

You'll end up with this...

It is very nice!!

Wondering what it looks like on the inside? Are you prepared for this? These really are the bomb-diggity-dot-com best brownies.

Oh, yeah! You can thank me now - and later. 

Party Cookies

Opening up my email on afternoon several weeks ago, I was greeted with a reminder for an event the next evening; an event to which I was supposed to bring a dessert. It would be so helpful if I had put that on my calendar. Alas, I needed a quick and easy treat, to give myself an extra challenge I wanted to use as many ingredients that I had on hand as possible. I turned to my favorite web-source of recipes: Pinterest. The weather is turning relatively warmer and chocolate seemed too heavy. I knew I had a package of funfetti cake mix in my cupboard, then I found a recipe for cake batter cookies, and with that I had a plan...

Lemony Funfetti Party Cookies!

Here is what you'll need:

1 - box of Funfetti cake mix

1 cup - white chocolate chips

1/2 cup - plain yogurt

2 - eggs

1 - lemon, zest & juice

1 teaspoon - vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon - lemon extract

dash of salt

Mix

Scoop

Bake 10-12 minutes at 350°

Like I said, I needed something quick and easy and that was a selling point on this recipe. Basically, you dump everything into one bowl and stir it up until just mixed. The dough was really sticky and stiff which made scooping it out a little challenging, I think this was due to replacing the oil with yogurt. I made the substitution to make it a smidge 'healthier' and in hopes of adding some extra tang.

Simply scoop the batter onto a cookie sheet lined with a Silpat®
Bake them for 10-12 minutes at 350°; they won't change color much, just a little tan on top, so be careful not to over bake them. 

I made mostly popper size cookiettes, but I also made a few bigger "regular" size cookies. Straight out of the oven (with a little time to cool) I think the bigger ones tasted better. Yet, the smaller ones tasted very good and even better the next day. 

Yummers! Tangy, zingy, lemony, creamy & happy cookies! 

Chubby Hubby Reinvention - Take #2

I got my baking groove on over the holidays and made some great treats. For Christmas I made one of my favorite desserts- chocolate bread pudding using panettone for the bread. It is beyond decadent! For dad's birthday (known to the rest of the world as New Year's Eve) we celebrated with peppermint chocolate cheesecake bars, a recipe I found courtesy of Pinterest, my obsession is paying off with very tasty treats. Then there were the neighbor goodie bags filled with puppy chow/muddy buddies/monkey munch - let it be known that by whatever name you call it -  I make the best, spritz cookies, homemade peppermint marshmallows, and candy cane hearts. And it wouldn't be Christmas without maple pecan sticky buns. No wonder I gained weight over the holidays, even though I gave most if it away. But the new year has started, I am setting the goal that I will get to a healthy weight this year with Project: {me}, I have teenage boys to keep up with after all, so it's not really an option. Yet it was hard to get back on track with healthy eating after so much indulgence. Not helping in the efforts was the leftover ingredients hanging out in my pantry and fridge. (Cream cheese makes my diet brownies taste so much better!) The only thing to do was make one last epic dessert using all the leftovers. I took stock of what was on hand, particularly those items that are a weakness and/or couldn't be stored in my garage pantry long term, out of sight and out of mind. I wanted to avoid buying any more ingredients to complete a recipe, the point was to get rid of things. I came up with this list: cream cheese, peanut butter, eggs, pretzels, chocolate chips. It was really just the eggs and the cream cheese I needed to get rid of, the pretzels are not a temptation but they would go stale, and then I'd just throw them out, and that is just wasteful when they could be made into something yummy.


Pondering that list and knowing the other things I had on hand I started thinking about a new reinvention of chubby hubby. This time instead of a cookie base, what about mainly cheesecake... mmm... peanut butter cheesecake, that's an excellent starting point. I delved back into Pinterest world to help me shape my idea. This is what I came up with: Peanut Butter Pretzel Cheesecake bars.  Will you allow me to brag for just a moment? These things are amazingly

scrump-dilly-icious!! 

I took the pan to work and they got rave reviews, it was a major hit with the guys, especially in the media department. The pan was empty before the end of the day, always a good sign.

Want to try them for yourself? Here is what you need.

Equipment: A stand mixer with the whisk attachment and food processor with  the metal blade.

Ingredients:
Crust-
2 packets of grahamies (or graham crackers to a normal person)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
2 handfuls of mini-twist pretzels
1 stick (8 tablespoons) of butter, melted

Filling-
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
2 blocks of cream cheese (room temperature)
1 cup peanut butter (creamy will work best, and not the natural kind)
1/3 cup half n' half
4 eggs (room temperature)
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Topping-
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
4 tablespoons of butter
2 tablespoons of half n' half
3 ounces of crushed peanuts
2 handfuls of mini-twist pretzels, broken into pieces

Directions:
For the crust: In the bowl of the food processor, put in all the 'crust' ingredients except the butter. Turn it on and let it do its thing until the graham crackers and pretzels are obliterated into a sand like consistency. With the machine running, slowly pour in the melted butter through the feed tube. I would suggest doing it in two batches, stopping the machine in-between and scraping down the sides. After all the butter is added let it run a little longer to make sure it is all mixed together well. Once it seems mixed and about the consistency of damp sand and will clump together, dump it into a 9x13 baking pan, patting it into a nice even layer along the bottom. Bake it at 350° for 12 minutes. Take it out of the oven and let it cool while you whip up the rest of the dessert.

For the filling: In the bowl of the stand mixer add the brown sugar, cream cheese and peanut butter. You might want to give it a bit of a start on the mixing with arm and spatula as the cream cheese and peanut butter are kind of thick at first. Once it is blended together add the rest of the ingredients and mix until it is well mixed and a little foamy. Remember to periodically stop the mixer and scrape down the sides. When it looks ready, pour it over the crust. Bake at 350° for approximately 25-30 minutes - until the middle only sorta jiggles a little when the pan is wiggled. Let it cool before putting the topping on.

For the topping: In a microwave safe bowl, preferably glass or ceramic (I'm convinced plastic adds an odd flavor), add the chocolate chips, butter, and half n' half. Microwave for 30 seconds and then stir really well. Microwave in 10 second intervals until melted, smooth, and combined. Spread it over the top of the cooled cheesecake, moving quickly, while it is still warm press broken pretzel and peanut pieces into the chocolate.

ta-da!!

Chubby Hubby inspired Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bars!

(Notes: I used half n' half because that is what I had, but if I were making this again I would use sour cream in the cheesecake filling for a little more twang, maybe upping it to 1/2 a cup. The batter had a strong punch, but once cooked it was rather mellow. Also, the topping could have been better using heavy cream instead of the half and half, and a little more of it at that.)

Chubby Hubby Reinvention - Take #1

I have a slight addiction to Pinterest. And to food blogs. It's a dangerous combination, especially when a favorite co-worker is having a birthday. Jon's birthday was early December. I had a little giftie for him already, it had been purchased at a sale two months earlier. But it is expected by my co-workers to bring in baked goods on birthdays, at least those who have a earned special favor with me. If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know Jon has curried much favor with me, which meant I needed to pull out the big guns and come up with something amazing.
I started regularly checking the food category on Pinterest and carefully considering each dessert recipe that popped up the various food blogs that I follow. What was going to be the winning idea? I found inspiration in a post from Brown Eyed Baker for Chubby Hubby Truffles.

Source: browneyedbaker.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

As amazing as they sounded, it was too much work and effort to make truffles for a crowd at work, even if it was for Jon. But it got me to thinking... what about a peanut butter pretzel cookie? After looking at scads of recipes for peanut butter cookies, blondies, peanut butter blondies, chocolate peanut butter cookies, peanut butter brownies, I came up with this: Jon's Birthday Chubby-Hubby Brownie-Cookie bar.
I collected ingredients from my pantry and with an idea in mind, got to work.

The Supplies

I made a standard brownie box mix adding a little coffee grounds (maybe about a tablespoon) to the mix. I believe coffee and chocolate are the nectar of life, and as such deserve to always be paired together. I poured it into a lasagna pan which is a little bigger than your standard 9x13 and set it aside.

Next came the cookie part. I started with a basic peanut butter cookie recipe from Cook's Illustrated, my go-to source for all things food and kitchen related. But I don't follow directions well, and tweaked the recipe a bit. I used 1/2 a cup of White Chocolate Peanut Butter, which I had on hand because Brown Eye Baker had raved about it and when I saw it at Target it magically jumped into my cart, and 1/2 a cup of crunchy peanut butter - because that is what I had. The recipe called for actual peanuts (crazy! a peanut butter cookie with peanuts?!) but since I don't like them unless in butter form I didn't have any and left that ingredient out. I then actually followed the directions, until it came to the add-ins. I precisely measured and added by the handful semi-sweet chocolate chips (about 1 cup), peanut butter chips (maybe 1/2 cup), butterscotch chips (a generous 1/4 cup), and broken up pretzel bits (close to 1 cup). Turn the machine on and let it do the hard work of incorporating all of that chippy goodness into the dough.

The dough ended up being really stiff. There was no way I was going to be able to spread it over the brownie base like I had intended, especially as the brownie batter was rather runny. Hm... what to do. Scoop it!

I ended up scooping out the cookie dough, covering the brownie batter filling in gaps here and there. It was time consuming and my hand hurt by the time I was done. Next time, if there is a next time, I'd reverse the two layers. Put the cookie dough on the bottom, patting it into place to cover the whole pan, then top with brownie batter. Oh... then maybe when it's done, it could be frosted... with peanut butter buttercream, or caramel buttercream, and dusted with pretzel bits... I think there will be a next time.

Okay, back to this baking venture. Once the cookie dough was more or less covering the brownie mix, I dropped spoonfuls of caramel sauce all over the top. It was another, 'Hey, I have this in the fridge from this other event, let's add it in!' But I think Kraft caramel squares, maybe cut in half or quarters, would work better, sprinkled over the brownie layer. Next time.

I wasn't sure how long to bake it, so I went with the brownie instructions since they had a longer time, adding 10 minutes to account for the extra thickness. It still needed a few more minutes, but then it went too long. When it came out of the oven the cookie part was a bit dark, maybe a little overdone, for my liking (another reason to reverse the layers).

Ta-da!! Doesn't it look scrumptious? (If not a little overly yellow because of the film+lens combo in Hipstamatic.)

I would show you a cut view, but I forgot to take one... and it didn't last long at work. This recipe is not for the weak. I mean that literally. The stinking thing weighed a little over 7 pounds. Lugging that to work on the train was a trick, but Rockstar deserved it.

Happy Birthday, Jon!! 

Stocking Up

Squirrels store up nuts for winter, similarly I stockpile chocolate.

Yes, you are counting correctly - that is a pile of 6 chocolate bars, 6 different flavors. As the cashier turned his attention to my groceries he quipped, "Someone is stocking up! Or had a really bad day."
I laughed and joked back, "It's been a rough week, a girl has gotta have her chocolate." The guy before me took a step back to check out what I was purchasing before grabbing his bag and leaving. I tried to rationalize my purchase, "These are the only chocolate that are total allergy free for me and since they're on sale, I'm stocking up!" He gave me a funny glance as in, 'What on earth could you be allergic to in a regular bar of chocolate?' And I just thought, 'Oh, honey! We don't have time for me to list it all!' Instead he asked if I had every tried a particular brand - I can't remember what it is now - explaining that it costs $9.00 for a small bar. My eyes got big as saucers, "Really!? What makes it so special?" "I don't know. We sell it, you'll have to check it out next time." After that I took my receipt, my bundle of chocolate and box of tofu and left. (Yes, a box of tofu! Duh! I couldn't buy just chocolate. That would be ridiculous. Plus I needed something for lunch the next day.)

Clown Cup Cakery

My co-worker Kristi is a great friend. For her birthday I bake something special. This year, I took a stab at a new recipe from a link that a friend had posted on Facebook. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes - it sounded delicious! Something amazing for an amazing friend. It required two steps.


The first step is to make cookie dough - but without the baking powder, soda, or the egg, substituting milk for the eggs. Then scoop, roll, and shape. Place on the mat and freeze.

After the cookie dough is good and frozen - the next day for me - it's time to make the cupcake batter and place the logs of frozen cookie dough in the middle. I was rather skeptical of them turning out at this point.

But after they came out of the oven, my skepticism disappeared. I was hoping that all evidence of the cookie dough would disappear, but just a little flirted at the top, hinting at the surprise within.

Top off with a little cookie dough buttercream and some mini chocolate chips and they are looking tasty! So tasty that I had to take a bite. After all, they needed a taste test before I offered them to my co-workers.

Oh. My. Goodness!! Look at that little burst of cookie dough in the middle, offering a delightful surprise in an otherwise ordinary looking cupcake. That was the most amazing bite of my life! Seriously. I don't know that I have ever tasted anything quite so good, and it will take something amazing to top it. Best cupcake - EVER!

Now, if the cupcakes weren't incredibly awesome enough on their own, some also had an adorable clown decoration to make them perfect. Perfect in so many ways. Kristi, the birthday girl of honor, and Lindsay another co-worker with a birthday over the weekend, do not like clowns. It is an on-going joke between myself and several co-workers; I like clowns, want to be a clown, and several co-workers can't stand them. Adding to the clowniness, another good friend has a birthday coming up at the end of the week, so I made a few extra for him, a member of the Rose Festival Clown Corps.

Girl seeks sun!

It always happens about this time of year. I develop a need, an overwhelming need, a compulsion, a driving desire, to see the sun. Unlike my brother who actually likes the drab overcast drizzly days I crave the sunshine. I crave it with a ravenous hunger. And not just the sun but sun and warmth. Don't get me wrong, I am a proud Oregonian, it is just the time between end of February to the beginning of July that I have a hard time with. I chalk it up to being born in Southern California. While I only lived there for my first two years, those early years are a very impressionable age and I believe all that sunshine imprinted my genetics with a need for sun. Further proof is my brother, he was born here in Oregon in March so it stands to reason that he loves the drippy days, that was his first experience in life.

This year I am going to soak up the vitamin D in Santa Rosa, California while I visit with two of my roommates from the Israel trip. I'll be staying with Janelle who lives just a short distance from the last house where my paternal grandparents lived. I haven't been back in over a decade so I am expecting some weirdness/sadness on that front. One day we are going to visit St. Helena and one of my food Meccas - the CIA - the Culinary Institute of America. I was hoping to take a morning cooking class but I dilly-dallied too long debating whether I should spend the time with Janelle and Debbie or take advantage of being in the area and take the class. Procrastination is the thief of opportunity. The class was full by the time I went to sign-up. Another place on the must visit is Bouchon Bakery owned by Thomas Kellar of The French Laundry fame. For the next few days I'm going to imbibe in the foods I enjoy and forget about my allergies, well, almost all of them. There is no food so tempting that I will knowingly eat bananas or mushrooms, it isn't worth the hospital trip. Yes, I'm a foodie and while the area is known for it's wine, I plan on enjoying the food. Most of all I'm looking forward to seeing Janelle and Debbie, just hanging out laughing and having a good time, being away from work and a computer, snagging some of Janelle's pics from Israel and ohh-ing and ahh-ing over Debbie's scrapbook.

The next five days are going to be great!

Better yet, I got bumped and stayed an extra day! I don't know how Janelle put up with me for so long. :) Love you J!

Concoction

Did you know that taste buds have memory? They do, I'm convinced of it! While remembering the trip to Victoria, BC on which I took the picture below my taste buds started salivating. They were remembering something. It wasn't the high tea at Butchart Gardens, nor was it the beer battered fries at the Sticky Wicket Pub (which the Pelican Pub at Pacific City has much better ones). What those little buds were remembering, screaming for, was the strangest concoction I've ever imbibed at The Next Chapter bookstore & coffeeshop in La Conner, WA. I can't remember the name of the drink, but I remember asking what was in it and thinking that it sounded so strange that it had to be tasted. It was a combination of Coke, espresso, fresh squeezed orange juice, a slice of orange, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Weird? Yes! Absolutely! I wasn't sure what to except and after the first noxious sip I questioned the choice of trying something so peculiar. I was tempted to dump it but the after taste was strangely good. I took another sip and my face involuntarily winced at the bitterness, but again after the initial shock the flavor was good and my taste buds were asking for more. It was a compulsion to keep drinking despite the initial taste, but it grew on me too. And as the ice cream melted it became very tasty. I have not attempted to recreate it - not yet that is - I think it may need to be attempted very soon. Have you ever heard of such a drink? Any guesses on proportions? It needs a good name... hold on, I'm going to try and make this thing and see what it inspires.

Update: I have since attempted to recreate the drink. It wasn't good. The coffee was leftover from the morning, the orange juice was from a container, and the ice cream was to little. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. I'm on the right track.

My New Toy

Most of you know that I love to cook. I especially love to bake but since learning about my extensive food allergies in December that has taken a back seat. I need to find a good substitute for eggs - any suggestions? With the new year magazines were all about helping us get organized and Real Simple was no exception. They even gave several ways to tame the unruly beast of recipe collections. Being the geeky type that I am I was was immediately drawn to the electronic suggestions. One of their two suggestions (the other was for the more enlightened Mac owners) was for a program called Big Oven. How could you not like a program with that name? I gave it a try and after playing with the trial version for a day I had to buy the whole program, which is reasonably priced, about the same or even less than most of my cookbooks. So I'm giving them a big plug today. There are a couple quirks which I believe will be changed with the new version that is rumored to be coming soon-ish, such as no spell check. But this withstanding it is super easy to use and fun. You can add recipes from any website with a few clicks. Create menu plans for a day to a month at a time with a simple click and drag, and make a shopping list in a snap. For those who, like me, aspire to organization you ought to check it out. Plus, the company is based in Seattle area - gotta support the home boys! If you do sign-up let me know so that we can swap recipes and menus in our own community!